Episode 16
Still Can Get It! Black Women, Black Love, and Black Romance After 40
Who says love is only for the young? Today I'll dive into the enriching and magical world of love after 40, particularly for mature Black heroines. Settle in as I talk about how age brings depth, resilience, and a new form of magic in romance as I highlight four captivating books:
'Ella Gets the D' by Tanvier Peart,
'Losing Sight' by Tati Richardson,
'Macy' (Whip & Fade Book 1) by Marlee Rae, and
'Candidly Yours' by Reese Ryan.
Get ready to break societal stereotypes and celebrate the vibrant and powerful love stories of women in their 40s and beyond. I'll even share some of my own tips for a magical life after 40!
Find this and other recommendations at The CultureLit online BookShop and support independent bookstores at Visit my bookshop!
Culture Lit is a community celebrating black women and black love, and a reminder that black women deserve joy, love success, second chances, and all the beautiful magic the world has to offer.
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Music credit: Cool Jazz Beat by FASOL PROD
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Mentioned in this episode:
You can find all the books I've reviewed in this podcast in my Bookshop! Visit https://bookshop.org/shop/CultureLitPodcast to get your copy!
Transcript
Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Culture Lit.
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:I'm Octavia Marie, and today I'm exploring
another topic that's close to my heart.
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:Love after 40.
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:Now, I know the industry often calls
it seasoned romance, but let's be real.
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:We know that women over
40 can still get it.
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:And not just get it, but get it in
ways that are deeper, more free and
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:filled with the kind of magic that
only comes from truly knowing yourself.
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:This episode is all about celebrating the
strength, resilience, and rejuvenation
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:of mature black heroines in romance.
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:These stories prove that age is nothing
but a number when it comes to adventure,
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:passion, and yes, romance and sex.
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:With age comes the beauty
of not giving a damn.
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:And in your fifties you've earned it.
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:The opinions of others mean nothing
and no comes out easier than
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:ever, and that my friends, is the
ultimate cheat code to happiness.
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:These four books embody just that we
are discussing some fantastic titles
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:that explore love flourishing after 40,
including Elliot gets the D by Tom Bier,
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:PERT Losing Sight by Tati Richardson.
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:Macy by Marley Ray, and
Candidly Yours, by Reese Ryan.
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:So grab your favorite beverage,
get Comfy and let's explore why
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:mature love isn't just possible.
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:It's downright inspiring.
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:Let's address the elephant
in the room though.
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:Society often paints romance as
something that happens primarily
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:in your twenties and thirties.
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:But here's the truth, love
doesn't have an expiration date.
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:Mature black women have lived rich
full lives, gained wisdom through
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:their experiences, and they deserve
to experience passion and adventure
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:just as much as anyone else.
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:In fact, with age comes a death
of self-knowledge and resilience
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:that only makes for even more
captivating and authentic romance.
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:I've made it to my fifties,
and I can tell you firsthand if
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:you do this life thing right.
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:It should keep getting
better every decade.
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:My forties were definitely better than
my thirties, and even with a cancer
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:diagnosis and treatment, my fifties
have still been magic, pure magic
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:because by now you know yourself.
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:You know what you want.
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:You know what you won't tolerate,
and you go after the love you deserve
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:with a confidence that's completely
different from when you were younger.
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:In our culture, we've sometimes
been taught that youth is
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:the prime time for love.
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:But I'm here to tell you that the
beauty of life, especially for
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:black women, only deepens with time.
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:Every wrinkle tells a story.
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:Every scar a lesson, and every laugh
line It is proof of a life well lived.
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:And when it comes to romance, these
experiences give mature women a
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:unique kind of magnetism that younger
heroines might not yet possess.
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:There are unique joys and challenges
of finding love later in life.
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:For many mature black women, the dating
scene isn't just about finding a partner.
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:It's about reclaiming their narrative
after years of being told what they should
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:or shouldn't do or how they should look.
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:There's a liberation in saying, I'm here.
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:I'm whole, and I'm ready
for love on my own terms.
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:But it's not always easy.
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:One of the greatest gifts of getting
older, you effectively don't give a fuck,
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:and in your fifties you've earned that.
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:The opinions of others mean nothing.
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:There are culture narratives that
suggest that love is for the young.
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:But the books we're discussing
today challenge that notion
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:in the most, the life of ways.
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:They show us that the heart is
timeless and that every chapter of
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:life offers its own kind of romance.
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:And if we're talking about
romance, let's be real.
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:Erotic romance in
particular gets it right.
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:In the really good ones, the
sex not only drives the plot, it
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:deepens the emotional connection.
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:It peels away layers and emotional
walls as the characters bone
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:their way to happily ever after.
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:That's the genre convention,
and I'm here for it.
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:Think about it, after
decades of navigating.
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:Career challenges, family
responsibilities, and
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:even past heartbreaks.
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:Stepping into the dating world as
a mature woman means you bring a
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:wealth of experience to the table.
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:There's a freedom that comes with no
longer feeling the pressure to conform to
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:youthful trends or societal expectations.
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:Instead, there's an emphasis on
authenticity, self-respect, and
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:a commitment to personal growth.
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:However, it's not always easy.
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:Sometimes mature women face skepticism
Both from the dating pool and even
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:from within their communities about
whether they can still spark romance.
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:But yeah, They show us that the heart
is timeless and that every chapter of
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:life offers its own kind of romance.
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:And with that, let's kick off our
discussion with Ella Gets the D by Tanvier
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:Peart this title might catch your eye.
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:And even make you chuckle.
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:But trust me, there's so much
more than meets their eye.
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:This novel is a bold
celebration of mature love.
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:Even though Ella is technically in her
thirties, she's 39, when the story begins.
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:Ella isn't defined by her age
or by societal expectations.
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:She's a vibrant, confident woman who
knows her worth and isn't afraid to
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:challenge the norms, particularly
after discovering her husband cheating
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:on her in their home In Ella gets
the D Taner Crafts, a narrative
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:where Ella embarks on an adventure of
self-discovery and passion after the
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:painful, yet liberating separation from
her egotistic, rude, and misogynistic.
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:Soon to be ex-husband Charles.
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:She navigates the dating world with wit
and determination, proving that a woman
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:approaching 40 can be both fiercely
independent and incredibly romantic.
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:The book doesn't shy away from the
realities of separation, single motherhood
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:and modern relationships, but it also
offers plenty of humor, heart, and yes,
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:some very steamy scenes that remind us.
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:Passion isn't just reserved for the young.
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:As Ella navigates the turbulent waters
of her new life, she embodies the
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:strength and resilience that many
women can identify with regardless
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:of their personal circumstances.
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:And what I really love about
this novel is how it turns
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:conventional expectations on it.
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:Head.
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:Ella isn't just waiting
for someone to rescue her.
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:She's out there carving her own path.
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:And when Romance does find her
in the form of Julian Brook, one
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:of DC's most eligible bachelors.
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:It is a testament to the fact that
confidence and self-assuredness
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:are incredibly attractive.
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:this book delivers a fun, slow
burn chemistry field dynamic
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:between Ella and Julian.
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:There almost instant attraction
is far from superficial, as the
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:author skillfully develops their
relationship with depth and nuance.
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:Julian's character brings
humor, confidence, and
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:refreshing honesty to the story.
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:The way he supports and builds up
Ella from the beginning is admirable.
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:They are the epitome of relationship
goals, and Julian has undoubtedly
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:become my book Boyfriend of
the Year Beyond the Romance.
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:I absolutely loved watching Ella fall in
love with herself again and her new life.
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:She wasn't very happy in her marriage,
and while it's easy to judge her
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:for staying with Charles, despite
his flaws, The reality is that
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:many people remain in relationships
For far less significant reasons.
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:Ella's journey of self-discovery
and empowerment is both
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:inspiring and uplifting.
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:Another element of ous, the D that
I found thoroughly enjoyable was
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:the emphasis on Ella's friendships.
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:The level of support, encouragement,
empowerment, and care within
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:the female relationships in
this book is heartwarming.
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:My close friends are much like
Morgan, Erica and Ella herself.
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:These relationships add a rich layer
to the narrative, highlighting the
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:importance of a strong support system
as we navigate life's challenges.
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:Ella gets to, Dee will have you
laughing, smiling, squealing, and eagerly
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:anticipating how she rebuilds her life
while navigating her attraction to Julian
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:during her year of legal separation.
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:It's heartwarming and empowering.
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:And a read that reminds us it's
never too late to start over
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:and find the love you deserve.
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:Next up is Losing Sight
by Tati Richardson.
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:A novel that takes a deeper,
more introspective look at
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:love after 40 in this story.
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:Our heroine Tanika Ryan faces a
professional setback when she's demoted
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:from her crown jewel of sports gi.
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:Thursday night football.
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:After hitting 40, she knows ageism
and colorism are at the root of
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:the decision as her replacement is
a beautiful young woman who knows
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:nothing about sports or journalism.
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:To make matters worse, Tanika
has no choice but to get glasses.
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:After years of ignoring her
deteriorating vision, this is where
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:she meets optometrist, Gideon Miles,
who is working to revive his practice
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:after losing his wife to cancer.
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:They have instant chemistry, but
Tanika initially holds back due
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:to her extensive travel schedule.
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:What adds a beautiful touch of magical
realism to this story is that when
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:Tanika's new glasses arrive, they
allow her to see people's auras.
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:It's a charming, mystical element that
reaffirms her ability to judge the
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:intentions of those around her, both in
her professional and her personal life.
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:Over time, Gideon and Tanika developed
a flirty friendship via text, Though
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:Tanika often interviews other potential
romantic interests like a young hotshot
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:Formula one driver and a sexy older
rodeo star, none are as appealing as the
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:handsome optometrist back home in Atlanta.
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:What resonates with me most
about losing sight is its honest
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:portrayal of the emotional
complexities that come with midlife.
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:The novel is laugh out loud, funny,
while still being a poignant exploration
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:of how people navigate the personal
and professional challenges of aging.
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:Tanika and Gideon's Romance is a
masterclass in creating characters who
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:struggle with life's disappointments
while still being playful and sexy.
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:I particularly love
Tanika's Boss Chick Village.
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:That was her group of friends, all
black women at the top of their careers.
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:the story explorers, very realistic and
relatable issues that women over 40 face.
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:And yes, it also features hot over
40 sec because yes, we do it too.
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:Richardson's novel reminds us that
sometimes losing sight of who you
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:thought you were is the first step
towards seeing yourself more clearly.
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:Now on to Macy by Marley Ray, the
first book in the whip and fade series.
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:after ending an ultra conservative
marriage, Macy Lovet, a talented
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:master colorist in the hair industry,
moves to Greenwood for a fresh start.
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:She's also the newly appointed
manager at Whipping Fade, barber
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:and Beauty Salon, where she pours
her heart and soul into her craft.
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:Life seems to settle into a peaceful
rhythm for her and her 16-year-old son,
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:Andy, as they adjust to the complexities
of co-parenting with her ex-husband.
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:But when she meets Gavin Gray, A renowned
artist known for his captivating,
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:erotic paintings and free spirit.
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:Her life changes dramatically drawn
together by their artistic sides.
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:Macy, and Gavin's lives
intertwine seamlessly.
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:Gavin with his unconventional career
and mellow personality supports
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:Macy as she discovers her hidden
passions and embraces her true self.
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:As her connection deepens, Macy
learns to let go of her past and
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:embrace the beauty of new beginnings.
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:The chemistry between Macy
and Gavin is electric.
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:It practically leaps off the pages.
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:Some parts of the story get hot and
heavy, and I loved every minute of it.
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:This brings me to an important point about
romance novels, especially erotic romance.
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:The sex isn't just there for titillation
and really good erotic romance.
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:Sex not only drives the plot, but
it's integral to the romance arc.
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:And I loved every minute of it.
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:One of the most frustrating characters in
this book is Anderson, Macy's, ex-husband,
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:who is incredibly manipulative.
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:Throughout the story, I question if
he ever really loved Macy Or if it
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:was just the familiarity of their
relationship that kept them together in
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:the end, I was glad Macy got out of that
situation and stayed true to herself.
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:Her goals, her creativity, and her heart.
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:Macy's story shows that you can
always go after your dream, no
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:matter your age or circumstances.
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:The reward is never what you
expect, but always so much more.
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:Gavin is a fantasy of beautiful
colors with swag for days, and his
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:pursuit of Macy is swoon worthy.
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:Thank you Marley Ray for always
giving us a real life grown folk story
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:with mature, well-deserved endings.
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:Last but not least, we have
candidly yours by Reese Ryan.
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:This novel is a refreshing and witty
take on romance for women over 40.
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:And candidly, yours, we meet Layla, a
woman in her forties who unexpectedly
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:reconnects with Quincy, her younger
brother's best friend from high
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:school, who is now 10 years her junior.
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:Layla knew Quincy since forever, but
when she meets him by chance at a
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:local restaurant, she's surprised to
find he's not a young kid anymore.
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:Quincy has lost his stutter, filled
out in all the right places, and
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:become a famous photographer.
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:The only thing that hasn't
changed is his crush on Layla.
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:After raising her siblings, following
her mother's passing, and working
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:hard to establish her bridal and
carnival costume business, Layla
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:has always put others first.
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:She's always like Quincy, but struggles
to accept that their age different
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:isn't as relevant as it once was.
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:when Quincy invites her to participate
in a documentary, he's filming on various
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:carnival cultures around the world.
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:She's reluctant but
can't resist accepting.
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:What I love about this
novel is that Layla.
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:Is in her forties.
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:She centered, responsible, and always
puts everybody else wishes first.
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:the story is filled with sharp,
memorable dialogue and moments that
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:are both heartfelt and hilarious.
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:It's a story that celebrates vulnerability
and authenticity, proving that there's
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:power in being true to yourself.
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:This novel also explores the dynamics
of relationships later in life.
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:It looks at how past experiences,
where the triumphs or heartbreaks
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:shaped the way we approach love.
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:in candidly yours.
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:Layla learns to embrace her past and
use it as a foundation for building
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:a future filled with possibility.
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:It's a love story that doesn't rely
on cliches or predictable plot twist.
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:It's refreshingly real with
characters who feel like friends
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:you would invite over for dinner.
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:Romantic steamy full of color and life.
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:Candidly, yours reminds us that love
can find us at any age, sometimes
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:in the most unexpected places.
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:Now let's zoom out a bit and talk about
the broader implication of these stories.
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:What do these novels tell us about modern
love, especially for mature black women?
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:For starters, they challenge the notion
that romance is the domain of the young.
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:in these books, love is vibrant, complex,
and endlessly creative regardless of age.
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:They flip the script on the idea
that experience and maturity
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:somehow make us less desirable.
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:Instead, they show us that confidence,
wisdom, and knowing what you want
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:are incredibly attractive qualities.
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:the heroines in these stories are
living proof that you can be both
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:mature and magnetic, that you can
have a life rich in passion and
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:adventure long after your thirties.
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:Technology and modern dating apps may have
changed the way we meet people, but these
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:stories remind us that true connection
isn't about swiping right or left.
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:It's about embracing who you are
and finding someone who honors that.
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:I have discovered that one of the best
kept secrets about getting older is
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:that you become increasingly unbothered.
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:I thought I had reached peak unbothered
in my late forties and would coast at
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:this rate, but no, you get even more
unbothered with each passing year,
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:the cheat code to life, accepting that
you will never know what you're doing.
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:At some point, you embrace that reality
and you get less stress and a lot happier.
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:there's a powerful sense of resilience
and rejuvenation in these stories.
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:For mature black heroines, the journey
to love isn't just about a new romance.
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:It's about reclaiming their power
and rewriting their own narratives.
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:they are not defined by past
heartbreaks or societal limitations,
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:and instead, they're stepping into
their power with grace, humor, and a
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:determination to live on their own terms.
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:Take a moment and imagine
the courage it takes to face
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:societal expectations head on.
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:These women have weathered storms,
navigated challenges that many of
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:us can only imagine, and they've
come out stronger on the other side.
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:Their love stories are
infused with that wisdom.
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:They know what they want, they know
what they won't tolerate, and most
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:importantly, They know that their worth
isn't dictated by age or appearance.
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:This is why it's so important
to celebrate these narratives.
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:They give voice to a segment
of our community that has
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:too often been overlooked.
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:In mainstream romance, they show that
love after 40 isn't a consolation prize.
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:It's a triumph, a vibrant chapter in the
book of life where passion, adventure, and
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:commitment flourish in unexpected ways.
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:as a woman navigating life in my fifties,
I've discovered some game changes that
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:have made this decade truly magical.
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:And here they are.
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:Get the sleep that you need.
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:Ditch excessive alcohol.
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:Limit the sugar lift.
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:Weights walk at least
five to six days a week.
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:These have been absolute
game changers for me at 54.
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:As someone who's navigated the ups
and downs of love over the years.
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:I know firsthand that every stage
of life offers its own beauty.
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:there's something incredibly
inspiring about mature love.
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:It's real, it's raw, it's unfiltered.
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:The heroines in these books remind me that
I too deserve to be loved and cherished
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:no matter what my age, but I love to
hear from you, my amazing listeners.
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:Have you experienced a transformative
power of love later in life?
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:do you have a favorite romance novel
featuring immature black heroine?
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:Drop me a message on social
media or shoot me an email at
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:hello@culturelitpodcast.com.
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:Let's celebrate these stories together.
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:Before we wrap up, let's take
a moment to consider how the
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:romance genre is evolving.
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:There's been a seismic shift in recent
years with more stories focusing
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:on diverse experiences and voices.
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:Mature.
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:Black heroines are no longer
relegated to the background.
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:they're taking center stage
leading narratives that are as
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:compelling as they are honest.
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:I believe that these stories are
paving the way for a future where
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:love is inclusive, multifaceted, and
celebrated in all its forms, whether
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:it's the fiery passion in eleg, the
D, the introspective journey in losing
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:sight, The artistic awakening in Macy
or the Witty candor and candidly yours.
321
:each of these novels contributes to a
larger conversation about what it means
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:to love and be loved later in life.
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:The beauty of romance is that it evolves
with us, the challenges we face, the
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:lessons we learn, and the love we find
are all part of a continuous journey.
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:a journey that as mature black
women, We navigate with strength,
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:grace, and unapologetic authenticity.
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:so to all the incredible women over
40 out there know that you deserve,
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:love, passion, and all the sex.
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:This world has to offer
your stories matter.
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:And these novels serve as a celebration
of your resilience and vitality.
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:Let's break the stereotypes and
show the world that mature love
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:is a vibrant dynamic and oh,
so worthy of being celebrated.
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:I.
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:If you haven't already, I encourage
you to pick up one or all of
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:these titles we discussed today.
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:Again, ous the D by Tom Bier, PERT Losing
Sight by Tati Richardson, Macy by Marley
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:Ray, and Candidly yours, by Reese Ryan.
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:Immerse yourself in these tales
And let them remind you that love
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:after 40 isn't just possible.
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:It's powerful.
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:as I close today's episode, I want
to leave you with this thought.
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:The beauty of life is that every
chapter, no matter how seasoned holds
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:the promise of a new beginnings,
fresh adventures, and unexpected love.
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:Embrace your journey, cherish
your experiences, and remember
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:that your age is your strength.
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:Thank you for joining me on
this episode of Culture Lit.
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:Don't forget to subscribe, leave
a review, and share this podcast
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:with your friends and loved ones.
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:I love to hear your thoughts on these
novels and your own experiences with love.
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:After 40, let's continue to
celebrate the beauty and diversity
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:of Black Romance literature.
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:Until next time, keep loving, keep
thriving, and remember, women over 40,
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:we can get it and we do it with style.