Still Can Get It! Black Women, Black Love, and Black Romance After 40

Octavia Marie: 00:00:37

Hello, hello, and welcome back to another episode of Culture Lit.

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I'm Octavia Marie, and today I'm exploring

another topic that's close to my heart.

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Love after 40.

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Now, I know the industry often calls

it seasoned romance, but let's be real.

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We know that women over

40 can still get it.

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And not just get it, but get it in

ways that are deeper, more free and

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filled with the kind of magic that

only comes from truly knowing yourself.

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This episode is all about celebrating the

strength, resilience, and rejuvenation

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of mature black heroines in romance.

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These stories prove that age is nothing

but a number when it comes to adventure,

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passion, and yes, romance and sex.

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With age comes the beauty

of not giving a damn.

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And in your fifties you've earned it.

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The opinions of others mean nothing

and no comes out easier than

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ever, and that my friends, is the

ultimate cheat code to happiness.

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These four books embody just that we

are discussing some fantastic titles

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that explore love flourishing after 40,

including Elliot gets the D by Tom Bier,

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PERT Losing Sight by Tati Richardson.

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Macy by Marley Ray, and

Candidly Yours, by Reese Ryan.

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So grab your favorite beverage,

get Comfy and let's explore why

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mature love isn't just possible.

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It's downright inspiring.

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Let's address the elephant

in the room though.

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Society often paints romance as

something that happens primarily

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in your twenties and thirties.

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But here's the truth, love

doesn't have an expiration date.

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Mature black women have lived rich

full lives, gained wisdom through

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their experiences, and they deserve

to experience passion and adventure

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just as much as anyone else.

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In fact, with age comes a death

of self-knowledge and resilience

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that only makes for even more

captivating and authentic romance.

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I've made it to my fifties,

and I can tell you firsthand if

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you do this life thing right.

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It should keep getting

better every decade.

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My forties were definitely better than

my thirties, and even with a cancer

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diagnosis and treatment, my fifties

have still been magic, pure magic

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because by now you know yourself.

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You know what you want.

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You know what you won't tolerate,

and you go after the love you deserve

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with a confidence that's completely

different from when you were younger.

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In our culture, we've sometimes

been taught that youth is

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the prime time for love.

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But I'm here to tell you that the

beauty of life, especially for

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black women, only deepens with time.

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Every wrinkle tells a story.

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Every scar a lesson, and every laugh

line It is proof of a life well lived.

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And when it comes to romance, these

experiences give mature women a

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unique kind of magnetism that younger

heroines might not yet possess.

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There are unique joys and challenges

of finding love later in life.

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For many mature black women, the dating

scene isn't just about finding a partner.

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It's about reclaiming their narrative

after years of being told what they should

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or shouldn't do or how they should look.

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There's a liberation in saying, I'm here.

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I'm whole, and I'm ready

for love on my own terms.

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But it's not always easy.

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One of the greatest gifts of getting

older, you effectively don't give a fuck,

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and in your fifties you've earned that.

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The opinions of others mean nothing.

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There are culture narratives that

suggest that love is for the young.

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But the books we're discussing

today challenge that notion

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in the most, the life of ways.

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They show us that the heart is

timeless and that every chapter of

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life offers its own kind of romance.

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And if we're talking about

romance, let's be real.

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Erotic romance in

particular gets it right.

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In the really good ones, the

sex not only drives the plot, it

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deepens the emotional connection.

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It peels away layers and emotional

walls as the characters bone

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their way to happily ever after.

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That's the genre convention,

and I'm here for it.

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Think about it, after

decades of navigating.

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Career challenges, family

responsibilities, and

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even past heartbreaks.

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Stepping into the dating world as

a mature woman means you bring a

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wealth of experience to the table.

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There's a freedom that comes with no

longer feeling the pressure to conform to

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youthful trends or societal expectations.

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Instead, there's an emphasis on

authenticity, self-respect, and

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a commitment to personal growth.

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However, it's not always easy.

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Sometimes mature women face skepticism

Both from the dating pool and even

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from within their communities about

whether they can still spark romance.

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But yeah, They show us that the heart

is timeless and that every chapter of

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life offers its own kind of romance.

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And with that, let's kick off our

discussion with Ella Gets the D by Tanvier

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Peart this title might catch your eye.

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And even make you chuckle.

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But trust me, there's so much

more than meets their eye.

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This novel is a bold

celebration of mature love.

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Even though Ella is technically in her

thirties, she's 39, when the story begins.

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Ella isn't defined by her age

or by societal expectations.

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She's a vibrant, confident woman who

knows her worth and isn't afraid to

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challenge the norms, particularly

after discovering her husband cheating

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on her in their home In Ella gets

the D Taner Crafts, a narrative

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where Ella embarks on an adventure of

self-discovery and passion after the

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painful, yet liberating separation from

her egotistic, rude, and misogynistic.

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Soon to be ex-husband Charles.

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She navigates the dating world with wit

and determination, proving that a woman

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approaching 40 can be both fiercely

independent and incredibly romantic.

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The book doesn't shy away from the

realities of separation, single motherhood

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and modern relationships, but it also

offers plenty of humor, heart, and yes,

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some very steamy scenes that remind us.

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Passion isn't just reserved for the young.

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As Ella navigates the turbulent waters

of her new life, she embodies the

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strength and resilience that many

women can identify with regardless

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of their personal circumstances.

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And what I really love about

this novel is how it turns

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conventional expectations on it.

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Head.

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Ella isn't just waiting

for someone to rescue her.

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She's out there carving her own path.

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And when Romance does find her

in the form of Julian Brook, one

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of DC's most eligible bachelors.

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It is a testament to the fact that

confidence and self-assuredness

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are incredibly attractive.

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this book delivers a fun, slow

burn chemistry field dynamic

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between Ella and Julian.

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There almost instant attraction

is far from superficial, as the

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author skillfully develops their

relationship with depth and nuance.

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Julian's character brings

humor, confidence, and

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refreshing honesty to the story.

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The way he supports and builds up

Ella from the beginning is admirable.

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They are the epitome of relationship

goals, and Julian has undoubtedly

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become my book Boyfriend of

the Year Beyond the Romance.

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I absolutely loved watching Ella fall in

love with herself again and her new life.

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She wasn't very happy in her marriage,

and while it's easy to judge her

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for staying with Charles, despite

his flaws, The reality is that

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many people remain in relationships

For far less significant reasons.

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Ella's journey of self-discovery

and empowerment is both

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inspiring and uplifting.

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Another element of ous, the D that

I found thoroughly enjoyable was

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the emphasis on Ella's friendships.

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The level of support, encouragement,

empowerment, and care within

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the female relationships in

this book is heartwarming.

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My close friends are much like

Morgan, Erica and Ella herself.

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These relationships add a rich layer

to the narrative, highlighting the

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importance of a strong support system

as we navigate life's challenges.

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Ella gets to, Dee will have you

laughing, smiling, squealing, and eagerly

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anticipating how she rebuilds her life

while navigating her attraction to Julian

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during her year of legal separation.

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It's heartwarming and empowering.

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And a read that reminds us it's

never too late to start over

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and find the love you deserve.

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Next up is Losing Sight

by Tati Richardson.

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A novel that takes a deeper,

more introspective look at

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love after 40 in this story.

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Our heroine Tanika Ryan faces a

professional setback when she's demoted

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from her crown jewel of sports gi.

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Thursday night football.

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After hitting 40, she knows ageism

and colorism are at the root of

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the decision as her replacement is

a beautiful young woman who knows

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nothing about sports or journalism.

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To make matters worse, Tanika

has no choice but to get glasses.

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After years of ignoring her

deteriorating vision, this is where

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she meets optometrist, Gideon Miles,

who is working to revive his practice

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after losing his wife to cancer.

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They have instant chemistry, but

Tanika initially holds back due

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to her extensive travel schedule.

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What adds a beautiful touch of magical

realism to this story is that when

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Tanika's new glasses arrive, they

allow her to see people's auras.

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It's a charming, mystical element that

reaffirms her ability to judge the

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intentions of those around her, both in

her professional and her personal life.

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Over time, Gideon and Tanika developed

a flirty friendship via text, Though

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Tanika often interviews other potential

romantic interests like a young hotshot

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Formula one driver and a sexy older

rodeo star, none are as appealing as the

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handsome optometrist back home in Atlanta.

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What resonates with me most

about losing sight is its honest

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portrayal of the emotional

complexities that come with midlife.

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The novel is laugh out loud, funny,

while still being a poignant exploration

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of how people navigate the personal

and professional challenges of aging.

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Tanika and Gideon's Romance is a

masterclass in creating characters who

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struggle with life's disappointments

while still being playful and sexy.

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I particularly love

Tanika's Boss Chick Village.

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That was her group of friends, all

black women at the top of their careers.

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the story explorers, very realistic and

relatable issues that women over 40 face.

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And yes, it also features hot over

40 sec because yes, we do it too.

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Richardson's novel reminds us that

sometimes losing sight of who you

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thought you were is the first step

towards seeing yourself more clearly.

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Now on to Macy by Marley Ray, the

first book in the whip and fade series.

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after ending an ultra conservative

marriage, Macy Lovet, a talented

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master colorist in the hair industry,

moves to Greenwood for a fresh start.

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She's also the newly appointed

manager at Whipping Fade, barber

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and Beauty Salon, where she pours

her heart and soul into her craft.

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Life seems to settle into a peaceful

rhythm for her and her 16-year-old son,

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Andy, as they adjust to the complexities

of co-parenting with her ex-husband.

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But when she meets Gavin Gray, A renowned

artist known for his captivating,

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erotic paintings and free spirit.

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Her life changes dramatically drawn

together by their artistic sides.

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Macy, and Gavin's lives

intertwine seamlessly.

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Gavin with his unconventional career

and mellow personality supports

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Macy as she discovers her hidden

passions and embraces her true self.

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As her connection deepens, Macy

learns to let go of her past and

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embrace the beauty of new beginnings.

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The chemistry between Macy

and Gavin is electric.

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It practically leaps off the pages.

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Some parts of the story get hot and

heavy, and I loved every minute of it.

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This brings me to an important point about

romance novels, especially erotic romance.

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The sex isn't just there for titillation

and really good erotic romance.

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Sex not only drives the plot, but

it's integral to the romance arc.

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And I loved every minute of it.

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One of the most frustrating characters in

this book is Anderson, Macy's, ex-husband,

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who is incredibly manipulative.

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Throughout the story, I question if

he ever really loved Macy Or if it

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was just the familiarity of their

relationship that kept them together in

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the end, I was glad Macy got out of that

situation and stayed true to herself.

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Her goals, her creativity, and her heart.

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Macy's story shows that you can

always go after your dream, no

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matter your age or circumstances.

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The reward is never what you

expect, but always so much more.

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Gavin is a fantasy of beautiful

colors with swag for days, and his

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pursuit of Macy is swoon worthy.

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Thank you Marley Ray for always

giving us a real life grown folk story

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with mature, well-deserved endings.

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Last but not least, we have

candidly yours by Reese Ryan.

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This novel is a refreshing and witty

take on romance for women over 40.

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And candidly, yours, we meet Layla, a

woman in her forties who unexpectedly

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reconnects with Quincy, her younger

brother's best friend from high

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school, who is now 10 years her junior.

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Layla knew Quincy since forever, but

when she meets him by chance at a

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local restaurant, she's surprised to

find he's not a young kid anymore.

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Quincy has lost his stutter, filled

out in all the right places, and

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become a famous photographer.

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The only thing that hasn't

changed is his crush on Layla.

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After raising her siblings, following

her mother's passing, and working

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hard to establish her bridal and

carnival costume business, Layla

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has always put others first.

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She's always like Quincy, but struggles

to accept that their age different

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isn't as relevant as it once was.

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when Quincy invites her to participate

in a documentary, he's filming on various

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carnival cultures around the world.

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She's reluctant but

can't resist accepting.

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What I love about this

novel is that Layla.

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Is in her forties.

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She centered, responsible, and always

puts everybody else wishes first.

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the story is filled with sharp,

memorable dialogue and moments that

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are both heartfelt and hilarious.

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It's a story that celebrates vulnerability

and authenticity, proving that there's

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power in being true to yourself.

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This novel also explores the dynamics

of relationships later in life.

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It looks at how past experiences,

where the triumphs or heartbreaks

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shaped the way we approach love.

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in candidly yours.

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Layla learns to embrace her past and

use it as a foundation for building

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a future filled with possibility.

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It's a love story that doesn't rely

on cliches or predictable plot twist.

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It's refreshingly real with

characters who feel like friends

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you would invite over for dinner.

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Romantic steamy full of color and life.

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Candidly, yours reminds us that love

can find us at any age, sometimes

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in the most unexpected places.

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Now let's zoom out a bit and talk about

the broader implication of these stories.

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What do these novels tell us about modern

love, especially for mature black women?

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For starters, they challenge the notion

that romance is the domain of the young.

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in these books, love is vibrant, complex,

and endlessly creative regardless of age.

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They flip the script on the idea

that experience and maturity

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somehow make us less desirable.

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Instead, they show us that confidence,

wisdom, and knowing what you want

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are incredibly attractive qualities.

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the heroines in these stories are

living proof that you can be both

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mature and magnetic, that you can

have a life rich in passion and

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adventure long after your thirties.

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Technology and modern dating apps may have

changed the way we meet people, but these

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stories remind us that true connection

isn't about swiping right or left.

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It's about embracing who you are

and finding someone who honors that.

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I have discovered that one of the best

kept secrets about getting older is

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that you become increasingly unbothered.

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I thought I had reached peak unbothered

in my late forties and would coast at

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this rate, but no, you get even more

unbothered with each passing year,

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the cheat code to life, accepting that

you will never know what you're doing.

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At some point, you embrace that reality

and you get less stress and a lot happier.

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there's a powerful sense of resilience

and rejuvenation in these stories.

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For mature black heroines, the journey

to love isn't just about a new romance.

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It's about reclaiming their power

and rewriting their own narratives.

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they are not defined by past

heartbreaks or societal limitations,

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and instead, they're stepping into

their power with grace, humor, and a

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determination to live on their own terms.

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Take a moment and imagine

the courage it takes to face

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societal expectations head on.

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These women have weathered storms,

navigated challenges that many of

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us can only imagine, and they've

come out stronger on the other side.

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Their love stories are

infused with that wisdom.

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They know what they want, they know

what they won't tolerate, and most

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importantly, They know that their worth

isn't dictated by age or appearance.

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This is why it's so important

to celebrate these narratives.

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They give voice to a segment

of our community that has

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too often been overlooked.

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In mainstream romance, they show that

love after 40 isn't a consolation prize.

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It's a triumph, a vibrant chapter in the

book of life where passion, adventure, and

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commitment flourish in unexpected ways.

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as a woman navigating life in my fifties,

I've discovered some game changes that

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have made this decade truly magical.

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And here they are.

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Get the sleep that you need.

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Ditch excessive alcohol.

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Limit the sugar lift.

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Weights walk at least

five to six days a week.

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These have been absolute

game changers for me at 54.

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As someone who's navigated the ups

and downs of love over the years.

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I know firsthand that every stage

of life offers its own beauty.

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there's something incredibly

inspiring about mature love.

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It's real, it's raw, it's unfiltered.

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The heroines in these books remind me that

I too deserve to be loved and cherished

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no matter what my age, but I love to

hear from you, my amazing listeners.

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Have you experienced a transformative

power of love later in life?

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do you have a favorite romance novel

featuring immature black heroine?

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Drop me a message on social

media or shoot me an email at

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hello@culturelitpodcast.com.

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Let's celebrate these stories together.

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Before we wrap up, let's take

a moment to consider how the

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romance genre is evolving.

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There's been a seismic shift in recent

years with more stories focusing

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on diverse experiences and voices.

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Mature.

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Black heroines are no longer

relegated to the background.

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they're taking center stage

leading narratives that are as

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compelling as they are honest.

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I believe that these stories are

paving the way for a future where

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love is inclusive, multifaceted, and

celebrated in all its forms, whether

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it's the fiery passion in eleg, the

D, the introspective journey in losing

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sight, The artistic awakening in Macy

or the Witty candor and candidly yours.

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each of these novels contributes to a

larger conversation about what it means

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to love and be loved later in life.

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The beauty of romance is that it evolves

with us, the challenges we face, the

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lessons we learn, and the love we find

are all part of a continuous journey.

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a journey that as mature black

women, We navigate with strength,

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grace, and unapologetic authenticity.

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so to all the incredible women over

40 out there know that you deserve,

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love, passion, and all the sex.

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This world has to offer

your stories matter.

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And these novels serve as a celebration

of your resilience and vitality.

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Let's break the stereotypes and

show the world that mature love

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is a vibrant dynamic and oh,

so worthy of being celebrated.

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I.

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If you haven't already, I encourage

you to pick up one or all of

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these titles we discussed today.

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Again, ous the D by Tom Bier, PERT Losing

Sight by Tati Richardson, Macy by Marley

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Ray, and Candidly yours, by Reese Ryan.

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Immerse yourself in these tales

And let them remind you that love

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after 40 isn't just possible.

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It's powerful.

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as I close today's episode, I want

to leave you with this thought.

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The beauty of life is that every

chapter, no matter how seasoned holds

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the promise of a new beginnings,

fresh adventures, and unexpected love.

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Embrace your journey, cherish

your experiences, and remember

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that your age is your strength.

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Thank you for joining me on

this episode of Culture Lit.

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Don't forget to subscribe, leave

a review, and share this podcast

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with your friends and loved ones.

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: 00:24:06

I love to hear your thoughts on these

novels and your own experiences with love.

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After 40, let's continue to

celebrate the beauty and diversity

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of Black Romance literature.

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Until next time, keep loving, keep

thriving, and remember, women over 40,

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we can get it and we do it with style.