Episode 18
Songs of Survival, Art, Healing & Finding Yourself with author Monica McCollough
You're in for a treat with today's visit with Monica McCullough, the author of the debut novel "Songs of Lost Things: Sonata for the Sun." We'll discuss the book's themes of family dynamics, self-discovery, and the role of music in the story. Join in as Monica shares insights into her inspiration, the development of her characters, and her journey as an independent author. As a first-time self-published author, Monica has some tips for other aspiring authors about the publishing process. Tune in for an engaging and insightful conversation about storytelling, artistry, and the power of literature.
If you order your copy of "Songs of Lost Things," from Monica's website, you will receive a signed copy! Visit her website here: https://monicamccollough.com/
The summer Lavender turned twelve, she was eager to dip her toes into the world of make-out sessions with her school crush and late-night misdeeds with her best friend in their raucous Newark, NJ neighborhood. Instead, her father had other plans...musical plans. He wanted to continue cultivating her gifted melodic mind and nudge her to begin preparing to apply to the local Arts Magnet High School.
Lavender suddenly finds herself cast into an unrecognizable and dispiriting world where she fights to maintain her sense of self, connection to her musical gifts, and footing inside her own family dynamics.
Years later, as a woman in her thirties who never reckoned with how much of herself she'd relinquished in her tumultuous adolescence, Lavender meets a younger man who reminds her of what she's lost...and what she's surrendered. Captivated by his charm, yet apprehensive of his interest, she's upended in unexpected ways. The mental health struggles she's managed to mildly overcome is ever present as ghosts from her past continuously appear. Love tries to find her as she finds herself.
Will she reemerge from it all with her full self: stable, whole, and accepting of the love she deserves?
Or will she fall back into the cycle of old habits and questionable choices that persisted and framed her reality for decades?
If you're looking for a coming of age story focused on self-acceptance, overcoming trauma, and letting go of the past to move forward to the future, then this is the book for you!
Find this and other recommendations at The CultureLit online BookShop and support independent bookstores at Visit my bookshop!
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Transcript
Hello and welcome back to another episode of Culture Lit.
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:I'm your host, Octavia Marie, and today I
am thrilled to welcome Monica McCullough,
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:author of the Powerful Debut n Songs
of Lost Things, Sonata for the Sun.
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:If you love books that are deeply
emotional rich with family dynamics,
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:self discovery, and powerful
storytelling, then you are in.
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:Monica's debut novels.
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:Songs of lost things.
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:Sonata for the Sun is a breathtaking
coming of age story that allows
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:Lavender, a young girl with gifted
musical mind, navigating love,
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:loss, and the weight of her past.
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:This book had me completely
hooked from the storytelling to
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:the complex relationships, and
let's not even get started on.
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:Monica weaves music into the fabric
of the story in such a brilliant
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:way, making it feel like an
integral part of lavender's journey.
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:And Monica isn't just an
incredible storyteller.
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:She's also a very talented
visual artist who created the
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:striking cover art for her book.
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:Today we'll explore the journey of
her protagonist Lavender, discuss
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:the themes of music, identity, and
self-discovery that run through the
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:novel, and getting insights into Monica's
experience as an independent author.
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:So grab your tea, cozy
up, and let's get into it.
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:Monica, we've been trying to get
this interview done forever, so.
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:before I kind of get into the
interview, let me just share a
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:brief summary with the audience.
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:Songs have lost things.
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:For our listeners who haven't had the
pleasure reading it yet, this novel
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:follows lavender and musical gifted
young girl whose life is upended when
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:her father's plans to nurture her
talent collide with her own desires
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:to experience the typical adventures.
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:As a woman in her thirties who never
kind of fully reconciled with her
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:past lavender, meet someone who
reminds her of everything she's
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:lost and everything she surrendered.
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:And I think it's kind of like a
beautifully crafted story around
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:family identity and the courage to.
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:Maybe reclaim your authentic self.
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:So I guess for me, I wanna start
with the beginning of your, like your
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:journey writing songs of lost things.
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:It's such a powerful and layered debut.
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:Was the storytelling always something you
wanted to pursue, or what was the moment
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:when you knew you had to write this book?
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:Monica McCollough: well first
I wanna say I'm glad to finally
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:be here because Yes, it has.
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:It's been a while.
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:It's been a journey for both
of us for various reasons.
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:Yes, exactly.
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:Yes.
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:but as far as the story, the beginnings
of this story, I guess started with
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:me all the way back in high school.
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:Kind of like this, Visual or this vision
I had of this young girl or or young woman
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:who just had all these musical gifts.
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:and what that looks, like when that's
not, achieved or what causes that,
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:what would cause someone to lose all of
that, and not live up to, what you would
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:think she would become with all of these
gifts and creative abilities, that she
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:possessed, like just like a gifted child.
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:So it kind of shaped from that
just, You know, just someone who.
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:You would think had everything just,
from a talent perspective should have
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:achieved, if they weren't like a star
in some aspect as far as entertainment,
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:they still had the abilities to achieve
a, a plethora of things, and they just
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:did not, and what that looks like.
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:Okay.
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:From an internal and an external
standpoint because I think that's what
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:happens to us in real life anyway.
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:It's, it's both things.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:You know, so.
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:Right.
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:Yeah.
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:Octavia Marie: So that's
really fascinating 'cause your
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:novel explores like several.
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:Very powerful themes.
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:Um, and I think many of us can probably
identify with one or more of these
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:themes like addiction and family
bonds and generational trauma and
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:self-discovery Which theme emerged
first in your writing process?
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:and then how did you kind of
develop the other things around it?
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:I guess just,
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:Monica McCollough: I.
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:Family trauma because I feel like,
you know, we're in this world and
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:of the first obstacles that most
of us face are family dynamics.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Whatever that ends up being.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:And so, that's where it came from.
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:First, like, what would be the dynamics
around this individual who When people
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:saw her or heard her or just mind blown,
and then they would look at her life and
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:it just seemed like in shambles and kind
of like, how, how did that come to be?
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:Octavia Marie: How did this person
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:Monica McCollough: end up this this way?
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:So, yeah.
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:Octavia Marie: So with that, I
think you created such complex
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:family dynamics in the novel.
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:Were there, like any particular characters
who surprised you as you started
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:writing and getting into the story?
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:Or is there someone who maybe
took a larger role or developed in
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:ways you hadn't initially planned?
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:I believe the aunt, Elizabeth,
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:Monica McCollough: You know, I
don't know how much I'm supposed to
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:spoil or give away or whatever, but
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:Octavia Marie: think a,
a little spoiler is okay.
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:Monica McCollough: Okay.
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:She, to me.
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:Changed the most in a way.
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:And I know that may, if anyone has
read it, it may seem like a long
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:time coming or maybe she didn't.
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:from the outside perspective,
it may not seem that way.
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:She was still kind of this.
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:Like caustic rigid individual, but mm-hmm.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:She, that was like an
outer shell in a sense.
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:Really, when you look at how she began
to approach lavender and, um, chase
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:later in the story, you can kind of tell
that she had softened a bit, but mm-hmm.
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:That was just an outer thing for her.
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:Yeah.
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:Um, and then some and, and, and
some of that was mental health
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:that she was also dealing with.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:But, you know, she reminds me of.
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:A lot of people in my family, they
kinda of rolled into main character.
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:Same.
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:Octavia Marie: And I, I was, as
I was reading, I was like, mm.
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:Right.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Right.
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:Kind of rolled into,
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:Monica McCollough: kind of rolled
into one character and I ended
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:up highlighting in the book.
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:Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:I, I really ended up kinda liking where
she, ironically lavender ended up.
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:'cause you would never have
thought that in a sense.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Octavia Marie: yeah.
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:She was that, yeah, her, her arc, her,
her character arc was I think I was more
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:the most surprised by her character art.
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:Monica McCollough: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:And I think that's what you
originally, originally asked.
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:Who surprised me?
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:The, the most?
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:I think it was, I think
it was her, um, 'cause
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:Octavia Marie: she, that was
her, it, it was her for me.
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:And so I was like, I wonder if, if she,
like, did you mean to do or did it just
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:evolve and that character involved into
some, or did you intend for her to evolve
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:like that when you started writing her?
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:Monica McCollough: I don't know how
I, yes, but ironically, I was speaking
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:with someone a couple weekends ago about
characters, and this is kind of like, even
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:as the author of the characters Surprise
you because you know, you give them a
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:personality and a background and you put
'em in certain scenarios and they react.
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:How they react.
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:I, I, mm-hmm.
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:I don't know how to explain it.
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:Like they kind of just react.
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:I get it.
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:Yeah.
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:They react how you would ex for them to
react given the personality you gave them.
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:Um, but also it, it's a compilation
of their life experience too.
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:All of that comes into it.
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:And then, They evolve into who this person
is, even when, you know, you weren't even
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:necessarily like writing it out in the
outline, like, this is who she'll be.
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:No, she just kind of became that person.
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:So, yeah.
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:I get, yeah.
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:Octavia Marie: So you, you talked about
earlier about lavender's, like her talents
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:and, you know, she had so much going
on her re lavender's relationship with
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:her guitar, it, it kind of felt like.
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:There was like a representation of
both, like maybe freedom and then
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:the burden throughout the novel.
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:Monica McCollough: Yeah.
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:Was that
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:Octavia Marie: kind of duality
intentional or, what did you
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:intend for it to symbolize?
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:Monica McCollough: Yeah.
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:it's kind of like, I'll put to
you, like, have you ever seen
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:the movie, Good Will Hunting.
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:Octavia Marie: Yeah, yeah,
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:Monica McCollough: yeah.
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:Okay.
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:Okay.
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:Is there anyone who
hasn't seen this movie?
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:I dunno.
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:I, I, I had some family one time.
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:This is funny, I'm getting off topic.
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:Who said they never saw it?
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:They said they never saw it because
they thought it was about a dog.
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:No lie.
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:I mean, they saw hunting,
goodwill, hunting.
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:They was like, oh, this is about
a dog, like they never saw.
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:I'm like, no, no.
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:That's hilarious.
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:it is, it's kinda like, I just think about
people who are so naturally gifted in
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:certain things and they're given so many
things, um, in one particular area that.
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:Uh, they love it and it's free to them,
but it's, it also can be constraining
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:because then people put expectations
on them surrounding this thing.
193
:Mm-hmm.
194
:Um, and that's kind of how, what
happened to Will in that store.
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:But, you know, he, he also
had his issues, right.
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:It, it, it is that, it's
like, I love this thing.
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:I'm good at this thing.
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:I'm my most free at this thing.
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:But also when I do it, then it's like, oh,
we expect you to do this and to do that.
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:And now it's, am I good enough to do
you like she almost does not wanna
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:be tested in that particular way.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Because now she's expected to be
this thing and you know, with her
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:background and history, it's like,
I don't even know if I'm worthy.
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:I.
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:Of, these accolades or whatever
success would come with this.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:Um, I don't know if I'm deserving of it.
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:I don't know that I would know
what to do with it if I had
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:it because I've never had it.
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:Right.
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:You know, this positivity in my life.
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:So,
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:Octavia Marie: okay.
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:So the other thing.
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:there's so much in this book and some
of the other elements that I kind of
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:found very interesting is how you weaved
music throughout the storytelling.
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:And I found myself like, oh
yeah, that was the, okay, okay.
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:Is there a Spotify list?
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:But like each chapter.
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:Opens with a song title
that kind of sets the tone.
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:So you have everything from Beyonce
to Tupac to Ella Fitzgerald.
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:Can you walk me through like how
you selected these songs and,
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:and kinda what they represent?
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:Is it something personally
that represented or was it
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:specifically, supposed to
represent something for lavender?
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:Monica McCollough: the songs kind of.
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:Summarize some of the chapters,
summarize what that block of her
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:life or that part of the story.
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:kind of felt like the feel of it.
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:Some of it is symbolic of kind of
like, a particular song that was.
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:prevalent in that part of the story.
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:So maybe it doesn't represent that
part of the narrative, but, it
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:was played at an integral part.
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:of a band life or the stage,
or her dad played it in the,
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:in that part of the story.
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:Oh, okay.
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:Octavia Marie: Okay.
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:So
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:Monica McCollough: it,
it's like a mixture.
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:Of both of those things.
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:Some of it, at least a couple of them
are a little kind of tongue and cheek
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:when you know what the chapter is about.
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:I could kind of think about one
chapter in particular where Rihanna
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:is like the, the song at the beginning
of it, that it references money.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:And, and the chapter does have
money involved, but it's not like,
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:You know, a significant role in
it, but it does reference money.
249
:So that was one of them that was kind
of tongue in cheek, but most of it
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:is just kinda like the vibe of that
particular part of the narrative.
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:Yeah.
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:Okay.
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:In that moment and the feel of it.
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:Octavia Marie: Yeah.
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:'cause I found my Sometimes when I
would see the song, I'd be like, okay.
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:And then I would go back after I read
the chapter and be like, okay, wait,
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:is, is there something I missed?
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:like, are there Easter eggs in this?
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:Right.
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:Find if, if I miss something because it's,
it is just such a deep and like, and then
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:I found myself like, because it's such a
deep book and it covers so many powerful.
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:Subjects I found myself
thinking, did I miss something?
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:Did I go back?
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:Okay, wait, did that mean something?
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:So I, I really liked how you
weave the music into it also.
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:Monica McCollough: Um, and then some
of the songs, not to interrupt you,
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:but like some of the songs were kind
like, I heard them at the time and they.
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:Inspire like an emotional
or evoked an emotion mm-hmm.
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:In me that helped me write that
particular part of the story.
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:So it it's all of that.
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:Yeah.
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:I'm wonder about that too.
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:Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:Okay.
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:Octavia Marie: So it's kind of part of,
part of the, the songs became part of
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:the story and also part of your process.
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:Monica McCollough: Right.
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:And I didn't want it to be, so
I just wanted to, wanted it to
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:feel kind of natural like that
in a mixture of all those things.
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:Because I felt like if I sat down
and was kind of like, I'm gonna put
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:this song with this chapter and this
song like it just felt too contrived.
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:So, yeah.
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:Octavia Marie: when I'm reading
sometimes, um, especially when I
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:read, stories that the settings.
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:are so vividly drawn.
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:I find myself feeling like, oh, like
going back and maybe sometimes I'll
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:research, I'll go back and look and I'm
looking for, you know, it makes some,
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:I might note something 'cause I wanna
know if this exists so I can visit.
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:And, and so the settings in your
book, you know, you have Newark.
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:And Montgomery, there's also
some references to the Dakota are
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:those, and it's so vivid when you,
like, I can almost like see myself
293
:visiting these, these settings.
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:How much of your own experience
informed the Saints, or Did you do heavy
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:research to kind of bring them to life?
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:Monica McCollough: well, I'm from
Montgomery, so describing Montgomery and
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:being in Montgomery was just natural.
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:Like I know that, like the
back of my head, I chose Newark
299
:because Newark is the, the second.
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:Place or location in the United
States where a, a large chunk
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:of my maternal family is just
due to the, the great Oh, okay.
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:The Great migration or
the first Great migration.
303
:Yeah.
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:and so I wanted to tie that in.
305
:My mom stayed there for a, a while,
caretaking and all that type of
306
:stuff during the sixties, so That
I had to research, um, and draw on.
307
:'cause I have not been to Newark
specifically, but I've been to,
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:uh, I've been through New Jersey,
I've been to New York and just.
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:Researching that and some of my own
experience with just visiting and being up
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:there briefly, I could, you know, describe
Newark as best as I could, I hope.
311
:Right.
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:And as, as, and as far as the,
reservation, that was a lot of research
313
:trying to make sure that I did it justice.
314
:And because that.
315
:It is not part of my
ethnic background at all.
316
:So I wanted to very
respect, respectful, right?
317
:Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.
318
:And
319
:Monica McCollough: research that
thoroughly, um, and pay Hamas to
320
:that part of, you know, US history as
well, that they're trying to erase.
321
:Octavia Marie: Every day.
322
:Mm-hmm.
323
:Monica McCollough: Before, right.
324
:Don't get
325
:Octavia Marie: started on another rant.
326
:Right.
327
:So we could be here.
328
:That's a whole nother
329
:Monica McCollough: another episode.
330
:Right.
331
:And then that, that also
was a part of kind of, um.
332
:Uh, the second wave, the second
great migration in a, in a sense.
333
:Mm-hmm.
334
:That's not, I don't think it's
spoken about as much, but the,
335
:the black population in the
south that moved out west.
336
:Mm-hmm.
337
:Uh, that was the, the ultimate
destination of one of the characters.
338
:Joshua's father was to try to get out
west from the, from the south, so.
339
:Just trying to be respectful of all
that history and all those locations and
340
:what they, they meant through time, so,
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:Octavia Marie: okay.
342
:Okay.
343
:Look at you.
344
:So the theme in, song of Lost, I mean,
it's lost things, whether it is like.
345
:Like cultural identity,
self-worth relationships, and
346
:it's very strong in this book.
347
:And lavender struggles, I think with
her self, her sense of self, and
348
:that, that I found incredibly moving.
349
:how did you decide, like which
aspects of loss and identity you
350
:wanted to highlight in her story?
351
:I guess I.
352
:Monica McCollough: In a
sense, pull from my lack of.
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:Self-confidence in many areas or,
imposter syndrome, but also just, oh,
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:don't, don't get me started on that.
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:but also thinking about what that
would look like when you add on
356
:top of that abandonment issues.
357
:And also taking on vast portion of this
book, she's like the responsible adult.
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:Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.
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:Yeah.
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:Ironically.
361
:And we have the parentification
of Right children.
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:Monica McCollough: Right.
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:As irresponsible as she's portrayed and
thought of by so many people in her life.
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:She was the one kind of holding
a lot of stuff together.
365
:And so just what that.
366
:Feels like over time, constantly having
to endure all that what what you think
367
:that you're deserving of what's worth.
368
:Mm-hmm.
369
:Even, trying to go after, because
so much so you've been abandoned by
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:so many things, so many people that,
we're close to you that you loved and.
371
:It's like, why try, in a sense, there's
a sense of why try this thing, because
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:it's easier to not try this thing.
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:It's easier to think that, right.
374
:I'm the undeserving in this.
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:It's never gonna work.
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:And I know the place that I'm in now.
377
:I know that, and I'm, I
feel safety in that, so,
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:Octavia Marie: mm, yes.
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:Yes.
380
:And, and then, and then there's
her complicated relationship
381
:with her mother, which.
382
:Like had me in shambles at times.
383
:Really like, yes.
384
:Like the tension between them
felt so real and you know, I'm
385
:like, okay, don't get triggered.
386
:Emotional walls, girl, emotional walls.
387
:But it felt so real sometimes.
388
:Like what was your approach
in writing their dynamic?
389
:Monica McCollough: Well, I
will say that of all the.
390
:narratives and themes in the book.
391
:This might be, and not from a, a mother
daughter dynamic, but this might be one of
392
:the things that's closer to something that
I understand and it's because I have, a
393
:sibling who, had his issues and continues
to actually, but just for decades of my
394
:life, in and out of those situations.
395
:Constantly.
396
:Like constantly.
397
:Mm-hmm.
398
:Mm-hmm.
399
:And originally it was just kind of
like it's one thing for it to be a
400
:sibling, but what is that like for
it to be someone so close to you as a
401
:mother and how does that affect you?
402
:For that to be your relationship.
403
:Right.
404
:For them to just never be
able to, like get it together.
405
:Octavia Marie: Yeah.
406
:Monica McCollough: Yeah.
407
:Yeah.
408
:Octavia Marie: I'm telling these, I,
I was like, Ooh, let me highlight, let
409
:me come back there a couple of times
I was like, Ooh, lemme put this down.
410
:Let me come back to this.
411
:Um, I have, yeah.
412
:No, seriously.
413
:Yeah.
414
:Okay.
415
:Now, at one point I thought this
was going to be a romance novel.
416
:But the story kind of takes like
an unexpected turn into self-love
417
:and personal healing and that,
and that can be in a love story.
418
:You know, I'm all about reclamation of
yourself and the self-love and all of,
419
:uh, uh, self love and healing also.
420
:But I, I, I did, you know, so I was
like, oh, okay, wait, we not going there.
421
:What made you Takeda story in that
direction instead of like the, the quote
422
:unquote traditional romance genre route?
423
:Monica McCollough: Because I just didn't
feel like Lavender was ready for that.
424
:Okay.
425
:Well, not me.
426
:Lavender was not ready for that.
427
:Yeah.
428
:Octavia Marie: I, and I was
like, are we gonna get there?
429
:And I was like, okay, no, we gotta go.
430
:So, but then that brings another,
I don't want it set because that,
431
:that kind of brings it like,
are we gonna get another book?
432
:Monica McCollough: You know,
maybe I, uh, this is my first.
433
:Novel, like, you know, you
in, in your introduction.
434
:I am primarily a visual artist and
have been visual artist all my life.
435
:Uh, this story has been on my heart for a
minute, but, um, you know, I don't know.
436
:I, I'm kind of like learning
as I go or feeling it as I go.
437
:Okay.
438
:There, there could be, I'll
be honest that the second.
439
:Idea I had for a story was
not this or unrelated to this.
440
:Okay.
441
:So I just, I don't know.
442
:I, the way I ended this story is kind
of open, so Yeah, because I'm like,
443
:Octavia Marie: I was like, is
is she writing another one?
444
:Because I, I feel like there's,
like, she, it, like you said, it,
445
:it, it left so much open and I was.
446
:Is there another book?
447
:Because I, I'm flipping through
the page like, is this it,
448
:are we done?
449
:Right.
450
:Um, but when you talk about also the
love, I mean you talking about the
451
:romance and, but because I think we
gotta talk about the love interest.
452
:Mm-hmm.
453
:There's Chris, the stable and
emotionally available one.
454
:Monica McCollough: Right.
455
:Octavia Marie: And then there's
Caesar, the chaos and the temptation.
456
:I was like, woo, boy.
457
:I was like, oh, she
touching on all of it now.
458
:Right.
459
:What do you think kinda each of
them represents in lavender's life?
460
:Like, I, I have my thoughts, but what
do you, what did you intend for them?
461
:Or do they mean anything at all?
462
:Or, is it just, you know, character
driven or do they represent
463
:something in each part of her life?
464
:Monica McCollough: Uh, they, they do.
465
:Actually, I'll be interested in what
you think, since you said you No, well,
466
:Chris, to me, is like an optimism.
467
:Uh, potential, uh, a hopefulness or
hopefulness of what could be if she
468
:released herself of like all these
burdens that she had mentally and, and
469
:these chains she had from her past.
470
:And Cesar is just.
471
:You know, the status quo.
472
:It's like what she knows is what she,
she feels like she's deserving of.
473
:You know, she shows up and, and
she knows she can show up and do
474
:the Caesar thing all day long.
475
:It'll be fine.
476
:That could just go on forever.
477
:Uh, you know.
478
:Octavia Marie: Yeah.
479
:So, so I kind of, I, I feel like, as I
was reading it, Chris, for me, I think
480
:represented like.
481
:I think what, what we all have
some of the, the vulnerability we
482
:have in, um, accepting or the fear
of accepting like the good stuff.
483
:Mm-hmm.
484
:Like, um, you know, we've had so much
of the bad stuff and, and, and I, I said
485
:this recently, I don't know, I think I
saw there was this, like this me, me, cute
486
:story trending on threads recently and.
487
:the, the, the girl who was writing
the threads was, you know, everybody
488
:was like, you know, why didn't
you do, you know, 5, 6, 7, 8?
489
:And I think, um, and you know, for a
lot of us, we, we've been raised so
490
:in, to be so hyper independent mm-hmm.
491
:That.
492
:It becomes like this kinda
self-protection thing.
493
:And then we are so used to the
disappointment and, you know, the, the
494
:chaos and temptation of Caesar that when
something like the Chris shows up, we,
495
:we so used to that we, and so we saying,
we're saying no to the good stuff because
496
:we're so used to the disappointment and
the norm and saying no to that good feels.
497
:Safer than taking a chance on Chris.
498
:So I like, I felt like Chris represented
like the chance of the good stuff.
499
:Mm-hmm.
500
:And Caesar represented, like you said,
the status quo and, and it's what
501
:we're used to seeing and what we're
used to protecting ourselves against.
502
:Monica McCollough: Right.
503
:Because there's no, there's really no
threat, with Caesar and, and being hurt.
504
:And if, and if he does.
505
:do something that annoys you.
506
:You really don't care because
it's Caesar like, you know,
507
:it's like, I don't really care.
508
:I don't have a lot of, yeah, I don't
have a lot of stake in this, but mm-hmm.
509
:It gets, it gets me alone.
510
:Yeah.
511
:Versus Chris, it's kind of like,
wait a minute, like, mm-hmm.
512
:I don't know this Chris situation,
I haven't had this good stuff in a
513
:while and I don't want to commit in,
in a way I don't wanna commit to it
514
:because then, That could fail and
devastate me more than anything else.
515
:I, yeah.
516
:I, I kind of wanna keep
my separation mm-hmm.
517
:Octavia Marie: From it, you know?
518
:Yeah.
519
:That's, it was all that, and I, I
think that's the, when I was thinking
520
:about, when I was thinking about
the Chris and Caesar, it also, I.
521
:Like saying no to Chris or whatever
it feels like, control, like mm-hmm.
522
:If you, if you say yes to it,
it feels like you are trusting
523
:and you, and then, you know,
trust is a whole different thing.
524
:Right?
525
:Because that's when it really gets tricky.
526
:And then, you know, that's, you have
to unlearn so much to be able to say
527
:yes and to that, but that feels like
you, you, you're giving up the control.
528
:But with Cesar.
529
:You control that because you, you
already know what that brings.
530
:Monica McCollough: Right?
531
:Yeah.
532
:And, and you know, like I was
saying, she just mentally at that
533
:stage was not ready for Chris.
534
:Mm-hmm.
535
:Mm-hmm.
536
:So, you know, maybe later
she, because she had, she
537
:Octavia Marie: so much she has to unlearn.
538
:Right,
539
:Monica McCollough: right.
540
:Yeah.
541
:Octavia Marie: Did you always know.
542
:How her romantic journey would
end, or did that surprise you?
543
:Did you always intend for that, the
romantic journey to end like that?
544
:Or were you surprised by it taking that?
545
:Monica McCollough: I, I don't
think I was surprised by it.
546
:Um mm-hmm.
547
:Because it just felt like, like I
said, where she was in her life,
548
:she, she was not ready for that.
549
:Um.
550
:It, it just felt authentic to who
she was or, you know, is at the time.
551
:Um, I just wouldn't expect Lavender
who was dealing with, with, still
552
:hadn't overcome a lot of stuff from
her past, still dealing with things.
553
:Um, definitely someone who needed
therapy but had not, you know.
554
:Mm-hmm.
555
:Gone to therapy.
556
:Mm-hmm.
557
:I did not expect her to.
558
:See Chris and, and go, oh yes, this is it.
559
:I know this is what I'm deserving,
and, and I'll fall into your arms
560
:and we'll be happily ever after.
561
:And I, like, I just didn't see, and
it wouldn't have been authentic,
562
:Octavia Marie: I don't think.
563
:Monica McCollough: Right, right.
564
:I, it wouldn't have been authentic.
565
:I didn't see her seeing him like that.
566
:I, I would see her fearing what Chris.
567
:With me or, or could be like, ho oh shit.
568
:Like, oh, sorry, can we cross on here?
569
:Octavia Marie: Yes.
570
:Monica McCollough: Sorry.
571
:Like
572
:Octavia Marie: we're,
we're, we're explicit.
573
:Okay.
574
:Like,
575
:Monica McCollough: oh shit, I
don't know what to do with this
576
:Chris thing, and I don't want it.
577
:I want it, but I don't want it.
578
:Like, this is too much
responsibility in a, in a sense.
579
:Octavia Marie: And I think we've
all kind of been there, like, ooh.
580
:Mm-hmm.
581
:But again, that goes to
that control and trust.
582
:Aspect, and you have to be
willing to be vulnerable.
583
:And in order to do that, there is so
much that lavender has to process.
584
:And then unlearn.
585
:She can't even unlearn it until
she even processes what it is.
586
:Monica McCollough: Right.
587
:And it's the fear of success in a way too.
588
:Mm-hmm.
589
:Yeah.
590
:Yeah.
591
:That fear of success, like, oh,
if this works out, then this is,
592
:more of a demand on me to make
sure this continues to work out.
593
:Mm-hmm.
594
:You know, I don't know if
I can handle that pressure.
595
:I don't want to handle that pressure.
596
:So,
597
:Octavia Marie: so let's
pivot a little bit.
598
:You, um, self-published this songs
of Lost Things independently.
599
:Which is incredible 'cause you
that, I mean, that means you
600
:are responsible for everything.
601
:What was that process?
602
:I can't even imagine because
self-publishing means you wear
603
:a lot of hats from writing,
edit, design and marketing.
604
:Like, what was that process like for you?
605
:Monica McCollough: the
publishing part of it?
606
:Ironically was the easy part in a sense.
607
:Mm-hmm.
608
:Because, again, my background.
609
:Is designer artist, so I didn't have
to find a cover artist or mm-hmm.
610
:Anybody to lay it out.
611
:Did You're amazing artist.
612
:Thank you.
613
:Thank you.
614
:Um, and I'm like,
615
:Octavia Marie: can I have
a print of that cover?
616
:That's a beautiful cover.
617
:Yes.
618
:Yes.
619
:Monica McCollough: so of course you can.
620
:I, you know, I did all of that.
621
:I.
622
:Found an amazing editor,
um, Christy Glasgow.
623
:Um, look her up on Instagram
and all the socials, but, um.
624
:She did the editing for me.
625
:She did the three stages of the
editing, developmental, um, line
626
:copy, proofreading, and all of that.
627
:so, you know, all of that is out
of my, well, the editing part
628
:is definitely outta my pocket.
629
:The, the design part was not so anybody
self-publishing, you have to consider
630
:that you have to pay for the, the
cover art you have to pay for at least.
631
:Two rounds of editing, I would
say, if you don't do three or four.
632
:So, um, but with that expense
and everything, yes, it is.
633
:I control it.
634
:I, I, mm-hmm.
635
:I'm also in control of the
marketing and the marketing part
636
:is the most challenging part.
637
:Is that
638
:Octavia Marie: the, I was gonna
say, is that the most challenge?
639
:It, it has to be,
640
:Monica McCollough: yes.
641
:The publishing was easy.
642
:You know, I'm not gonna say that's
easy for everybody, but that part
643
:was pretty easy For me, the marketing
is, is more difficult just simply
644
:because, there's so much Noise.
645
:And I'm not saying noise in a negative
way, but it's just so much noise
646
:everywhere out there is, is you know that
you have to be present on this platform
647
:and that platform, and you need to be
buying ads to run here and there, and
648
:you need to go to this event and you
need to post multiple times a day on
649
:several platforms and yada, yada, yada.
650
:And you can do all of that.
651
:And still not.
652
:While life is
653
:Octavia Marie: life and then you
still have to work and do right.
654
:And you still work your full-time
thing and life, life, right?
655
:Monica McCollough: You still have to
work, you still have your, your personal
656
:things going on, which, uh, was happening
with me, I would say right at the, the
657
:peak of when I needed to be marketing.
658
:Um, and that, that kind of slowed me down
on a lot of stuff and yeah, you know.
659
:You could do all of those
things and still not.
660
:Get a lot of traction because mm-hmm.
661
:There's so much noise and
then algorithms change on you.
662
:Like, you know, at, at one point it's,
oh, post reels, that's what you need.
663
:And then you, you put all this energy
into, into reels, and then it's carousels.
664
:Yes.
665
:And then it's, now it's
characters YouTube, and now
666
:it's threads and it is just.
667
:A lot it, the marketing part was most
definitely, and it continues to be
668
:the most difficult part for me, to the
point where I just, I'm not saying that.
669
:I have not given up on marketing for,
for the people who would be listening.
670
:I have not given up on marketing,
but as far as trying to do all the
671
:things that I just listed, mm-hmm.
672
:I just could not, I could not, because
again, going back to when I was like
673
:at the peak of when I should have been
marketing a lot of, or doing all the
674
:things, I had some personal stuff going
on with my, with my mom and health
675
:stuff, with myself and with her, and
I just literally could not, and I was.
676
:Tired.
677
:And so yeah.
678
:Now I'm just kind of, you get
what you get at this point.
679
:You get what you get.
680
:Yeah,
681
:Octavia Marie: and that's what I, and
that's what a lot of, you know, as you
682
:know, my background is really in pr.
683
:Mm-hmm.
684
:But, but that's what
I tell people is that.
685
:Especially starting out, you can
do stuff your, you know, yourself.
686
:You don't necessarily have to hire
these big machines, but the key is
687
:focusing on one or two of the things
because you can't do all the things
688
:you overwhelm yourself trying to do.
689
:All the things, but focus on, you
know, where, where's your story, you
690
:know, going to get the most traction.
691
:Where is your, where's your ideal people?
692
:Where is your community?
693
:Right?
694
:And then that's what you focus on.
695
:Um, because you can't, it, it's
like you said, it's so much out
696
:there that, and it's so much noise.
697
:Go where your, tribe is and focus there.
698
:I'm not giving on that tickety talk.
699
:It's just like,
700
:I don't, I don't, it's not for me.
701
:And I understand that's not for me because
I can, you know, I can do a carousel, I
702
:can do the writing, I can do this, and
I can, I can, you know, edit a reel.
703
:But I think, but for
TikTok works a lot better.
704
:It, it's, it's a real authentic thing.
705
:So when you're.
706
:Like live as you go it.
707
:It doesn't work for
like curated film preed.
708
:That's not really necessarily, I.
709
:For TikTok, but it
710
:Monica McCollough: mm-hmm.
711
:Octavia Marie: it is just a lot.
712
:And I was like, focus on like,
you know, one or two your best.
713
:Where you to get the most
traction, where you getting the
714
:most community support from?
715
:Then focus on that, and that's where you
focus your energies on if, is it reals
716
:or is it carousels or is it stories?
717
:Because I personally think, and it just
depends on what you're trying to do.
718
:Um, with your audience.
719
:But see, I done went on a rant here,
720
:Monica McCollough: like, but no,
no, I'm, I'm listening because
721
:obviously I, I still need this.
722
:I do not, I don't have the, the,
the following that I wish I had,
723
:because again, I'm just starting,
so I'm listening and I'm still
724
:trying to learn this as I go.
725
:As someone who.
726
:Again, as a designer, mostly a
designer and a visual artist.
727
:I was a behind kid offline.
728
:Right.
729
:I was behind the scenes
little strategy offline.
730
:Yeah.
731
:I'm, I'm behind the camera.
732
:Behind the scenes type person.
733
:Yeah.
734
:So being out front, I, I
just, you know, and see
735
:Octavia Marie: that means, TikTok and
reels might not be your lane, right.
736
:Your lane may be carousels and the
written part of it and, and, and, and
737
:it could be, um, the stories part of
it and, you know, maybe threads and
738
:the, the, the writing aspect of it.
739
:'cause you are really, like,
you are, you are funny online.
740
:So
741
:I.
742
:For you then it might not be, but TikTok
and reels might not be, and reels can
743
:be your thing, but you, it has to, it
has to be just done in a different way.
744
:you know, different styles work for
different people, so you focus on
745
:what works for you and where you're
comfortable and then you make it work
746
:for you that way instead of trying
to do what everybody else is doing.
747
:And, but you do it in a way
that makes sense for you.
748
:You know.
749
:Right.
750
:We're the same that way, I think.
751
:Mm-hmm.
752
:Monica McCollough: Right.
753
:And I know, I know we gotta move on.
754
:But I was gonna say to, uh, new
indie authors, That's just coming
755
:along the, the funniest thing
about TikTok and reels and stuff.
756
:And that's why I was just
kinda like, you know what?
757
:I gotta, I just gotta be Authentic and
be me and hope the right, define me.
758
:Mm-hmm.
759
:Is that exactly most of my engagement?
760
:And not that I did a ton of videos like
this, uh, but most of my engagement
761
:on, on a specific video would come
when I'm doing something trendy.
762
:Like, is there's a trendy
song that everybody's using
763
:or some, uh, trend or, or.
764
:Not dance.
765
:'cause I didn't really do
dances like that, but I would
766
:try to tie it into my book.
767
:Mm-hmm.
768
:But that's when I would, or, or
I would get the most engagement
769
:when it was something like that
and it was unrelated to my book.
770
:And then you would do something
with your book, like a video like
771
:that would have, you know, a.
772
:Thousands of views and then you do
something in your book and it's like
773
:50 views and like it's kind of, I don't
want new people to be discouraged because
774
:that's the experience of all of us.
775
:Like, um, when you hear indie office
talking on TikTok or Instagram or
776
:wherever, that's what we all experience.
777
:We get the most engagement
where we're doing.
778
:The random thing that's trending.
779
:Mm-hmm.
780
:And then we were like,
Hey, I'm glad you're here.
781
:Come look at this book real quick.
782
:And it's like 50 views.
783
:And like, wait a minute, wait a minute.
784
:So anyway.
785
:Octavia Marie: before we wrap up, I
wanted to do like a quick lightning round.
786
:And you just answer what the
question that comes to your mind.
787
:Okay.
788
:What song would be the theme
music for your writing process?
789
:Monica McCollough: Ooh.
790
:Octavia Marie: You like, you got
this music, you said the writing,
791
:sometimes was, inspired by the music.
792
:So like, what's your theme?
793
:Music.
794
:Monica McCollough: Hmm.
795
:I don't know if I have one particular
song, but it would have to be
796
:almost anything from I.
797
:The Curtis Mayfield catalog.
798
:Octavia Marie: Okay.
799
:Okay.
800
:Yes.
801
:Almost anything.
802
:I expected that from you knowing
like some of your music tastes of
803
:seeing what you've talked about.
804
:I, that one, that was a shocker for me.
805
:Monica McCollough: Yeah.
806
:Like that man was a musical
genius and he's not spoken
807
:about enough, in my opinion.
808
:I agree.
809
:I agree.
810
:Yeah, it's, it's timeless.
811
:So anything.
812
:It could be, it sounds futuristic,
it sounds from the past, it sounds
813
:modern, it sounds all of that.
814
:So it can represent so many things.
815
:Octavia Marie: Agreed.
816
:Monica McCollough: Yeah.
817
:Octavia Marie: what character
from your book would you most
818
:want to have dinner with?
819
:Monica McCollough: Well, from a,
a very vain standpoint or shallow
820
:standpoint, I would wanna have,
I would wanna have dinner with
821
:Chris just so I can look at him.
822
:'cause the way I described
him, that man was fine.
823
:Octavia Marie: Do we,
Chris, like, is he inspired?
824
:Right?
825
:Was Chris inspired, was he completely
made up or was Chris inspired?
826
:I was like, is Chris my new?
827
:Or was
828
:Monica McCollough: he just made up?
829
:an amalgamation of, of, several people.
830
:you know, there's some people
that follow on Instagram and I
831
:was like, Hmm, you know what?
832
:I could see that.
833
:So, I
834
:Octavia Marie: guess probably, probably,
835
:maybe Catherine, honestly, really?
836
:Monica McCollough: Mm-hmm.
837
:Just, I just would wanna get her,
because we get lavender's perspective
838
:throughout the book, you know?
839
:mm-hmm.
840
:It's, it's mostly written from her
perspective, but I would, I would
841
:really wanna know what Katherine was
feeling throughout this time and.
842
:why was difficult or I kind of explained
why it was difficult, for her to kind
843
:of get over that hump, but mm-hmm.
844
:What eventually drew her out of it?
845
:you know, after so much time.
846
:Okay.
847
:That
848
:Octavia Marie: and how did she,
849
:Monica McCollough: yeah.
850
:How to see,
851
:Octavia Marie: I can see that.
852
:Monica McCollough: Wanna move forward?
853
:Yeah.
854
:Octavia Marie: what book do you wish
you could read again for the first time?
855
:Hmm,
856
:probably, if it's
857
:Monica McCollough: not, and I
hadn't read this in a long time,
858
:but if it's not things fall apart,
it's It's probably home going.
859
:Two, that's still one
of my favorite books.
860
:And it's, another story that spans mm-hmm.
861
:A massive amount of time, like, you know,
mine is just roughly 20 years or so,
862
:you're talking here centuries, and she
just does an amazing job of, I feel like
863
:you're in each character's shoes, even
though you only spend a chapter with them.
864
:Octavia Marie: coffee, tea or
something else when you're writing.
865
:Ooh.
866
:You be drinking a brown
liquor when you rain?
867
:Monica McCollough: No, because
I need a, I need a clear head.
868
:as far as that goes, as far as that
might, you know, dip into some, some other
869
:shrooms or something else to open my mind
a fusion or of a beverage, but, uh Okay.
870
:You with the functional Yeah.
871
:Some tea.
872
:Yeah, some tea or, or maybe a little, uh.
873
:You know, lion Mane.
874
:Ain't nothing wrong with that.
875
:Okay.
876
:You know?
877
:Yeah.
878
:I'm a
879
:Octavia Marie: functional, I'm
a functional drinker herb too.
880
:Yeah.
881
:Yeah.
882
:So, you know, I'm all with that.
883
:For creative work,
early bird or night owl,
884
:Monica McCollough: most of my ideas come
to me very, very late, like night out.
885
:Mm-hmm.
886
:Um, the ideas.
887
:But as far as
888
:Octavia Marie: I think, I think
889
:Monica McCollough: most
890
:Octavia Marie: creatives
are like that though.
891
:Monica McCollough: Yeah.
892
:As far as getting them out
in a, in a clear manner.
893
:I found surprisingly to me, that
that was early in, like before noon.
894
:Okay.
895
:'cause after that girl,
that's not early birth.
896
:Well, no.
897
:Well, I mean, I'm just, I'm just saying
like, I, Definitely before:
898
:most certainly before noon at the latest.
899
:Okay.
900
:'cause anything afternoon,
I'm just like, no.
901
:It's not working.
902
:Yeah.
903
:Well,
904
:Octavia Marie: Monica, thank you so
much for this insightful conversation.
905
:We've been trying to
get this scheduled for.
906
:I'm glad I finally got able to,
was able to talk to you about it.
907
:I had so many things.
908
:I was just writing notes as I was.
909
:I'm, I'm one of those crazy people
that when I get to read a book like
910
:this, I'm writing notes in the, in
the, and I had to go to prepare for
911
:this, and I'm going back to the, the
notes in my book, like, oh wait, a.
912
:So thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.
913
:Your journey as both a creative
storyteller and and visual artist and
914
:independent artist is very inspiring.
915
:I was like, am I gonna
write a my book finally?
916
:Yeah, do it.
917
:You totally.
918
:I was like, ah, just watching
you go through this part.
919
:I was like, uh.
920
:But it's been truly inspiring,
just watching you kind of.
921
:Like it all come together
and then finally see the, the
922
:finished product was so amazing.
923
:thank you.
924
:But before we go, please remind
us where we can find songs of Lost
925
:Things, Sonata for the Sun, and how
they can't connect with you online.
926
:Monica McCollough: Okay, well, my book is
on Amazon, but I know how we're feeling
927
:about Amazon right now, so, uh, you know,
928
:Octavia Marie: it's still supporting.
929
:I hate it.
930
:Um, I, I, I, well, let me first say,
I know yours is on Amazon, but I have
931
:also, it's also available on bookshop,
on my website org, on your website.
932
:For independent, independent author and
bookstore, give the people your website.
933
:Monica McCollough: Yes, it
is monica mccullough.com
934
:and that's
M-O-N-I-C-A-M-C-C-O-L-L-O-U-G-H.
935
:Uh, you know, a lot of people put that
u in, there's different ways you spell
936
:it, but it's with an o mccullough.com
937
:and if you get the book through my
website, um, it'll be signed and have
938
:a signed copy, and plus you can sign
up for, you know, news and newsletters.
939
:I do not sign.
940
:Sign, uh, send out a bunch of emails.
941
:You do not have to worry about that.
942
:Uh, but when I have news, you
will be the first to know.
943
:You can also find me on Instagram.
944
:I am, I'm definitely there at Moni.
945
:That's MONI, shy writer,
S-H-Y-W-R-I-T-E-R.
946
:Um, Instagram mony shy writer on threads,
obviously under the same, um, name and.
947
:Uh, I'm on the.
948
:You know, trying to figure out what I'm
gonna do on the TikTok, but I am on v um,
949
:and it's Monie do shy writer, I believe.
950
:So it's either Mony, shy
writer, or Monie do shy writer.
951
:But Monie Shy Rider is what I
usually use on social medias to,
952
:to try to get my stuff out there.
953
:Octavia Marie: I'll link
and I'll link everything.
954
:Everything will be linked, is linked
in the notes, um, where you can.
955
:Purchase.
956
:I highly recommend that you
pick up a copy of songs of Lost
957
:Things, Sonata for the Sun.
958
:It's beautifully written.
959
:It's emotionally resonant story
that will stay with you long after
960
:you've turned the final page.
961
:This has been the Culture Lit Podcast.
962
:I'm Octavia, and we'll be back next week
with another conversation about the books
963
:that move us and the stories behind them.
964
:Until then, keep reading, keep
reflecting, and keep celebrating
965
:the power of literature.
966
:Bye