Episode 41

What Your Body Already Knows with Aycee Brown on Embody Your Magic, Intuition & Healing

What if your body already knew the truth — before the doctors, before the diagnosis, before the breakdown — and you just weren't listening?

In this episode, Octavia sits down with psychic medium, astrologer, Human Design expert, and author Aycee Brown to talk about her debut book Embody Your Magic (HarperOne, 2026). What starts as a deep dive into spiritual tools becomes one of the most personal conversations.

They cover Human Design, the 80/20 soul blueprint framework, why religion is keeping Black women locked in the wrong 20%, what self-rejection looks like, and why honest desire — not vision boards — is the actual key to creating the life you want.

In this episode you will:

  • Learn Aycee's 80/20 framework and why most of us are spending all our energy in the wrong 20%
  • Understand how self-rejection piles up in the small everyday moments — and how to stop adding layers
  • Walk away with one honest question that can shift everything: What does your body already know that you keep ignoring?

Books mentioned:

Embody Your Magic: Create the Life of Your Dreams Through Astrology, Numerology, Mediumship, Metaphysics, and Human Design

Find this and other recommendations at The CultureLit online BookShop and support independent bookstores at Visit my bookshop!

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Transcript
Octavia Marie:

Welcome back to Culture Lit,

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the podcast where black women's

love stories, healing journeys, and

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cultural brilliance take center stage.

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I'm your host, Octavia Marie.

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I have been looking forward to this

conversation because my guest today isn't

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just someone who talks about healing.

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She's a psychic medium, a human design

expert, an astrologer, an Oracle, and

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the author of the new book, Embody

Your Magic, create the Life of Your

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Dreams through astrology, numerology,

mediumship, metaphysics, and Human Design.

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I have been devouring

since I got my hands on it.

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Ac, welcome.

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Thank you so much for joining me today.

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Aycee: Thank you for having me.

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Octavia Marie: When I saw that you were

releasing this book, Embody Your Magic,

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I immediately thought, let me go ahead

and get my pre-order in right now.

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And I have been in this book,

not able to put it down.

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I have my little notes, I have

my Embody Your Magic workbook,

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and I'm just engrossed.

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Aycee: Good.

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Octavia Marie: There were, times

when I was reading and there were

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passages that would stop me cold.

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I'd literally have to

put the book down mm-hmm.

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To just process huh.

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I definitely wanna get into Embody

Your Magic, but first I wanted to start

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with you, the woman behind the Aura.

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You wrote in Embody Your Magic

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Aycee: mm-hmm.

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Octavia Marie: You internalized

the chaos of your childhood.

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Aycee: Mm-hmm.

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Octavia Marie: And that, you believe.

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Something was inherently wrong with you.

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And then when you were 14, I think

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Aycee: mm-hmm.

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Octavia Marie: You picked up

Live Your Dreams by Les Brown.

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Yes.

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I remember that book.

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And I was like, what

were we doing as kids?

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What were we going through?

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Aycee: I saw infomercial with Les Brown.

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I was like, you right.

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I need to live my dreams, need to get

my, I need to get my life together.

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You're right.

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Yeah.

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I need to get my, and I remember picking

up his book, there's another lady, her

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name is Barbara D'Angelos, and she had

a book called, are You The One for Me?

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And it was about relationships two,

her book, it was Les Browns, but,

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and then of Tony Robbins picked up

his book and what was another book.

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But those were like the main

books that I had picked up.

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Octavia Marie: What were we doing?

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What were doing?

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What made you seek answers what made

you reach for these books cause we're

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14, 13, 14, 15.

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What answers are we looking for?

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Aycee: Well,

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because it was I was, the

messaging that I was getting was

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so contradictory to how I felt.

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So somebody has to be true.

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Somebody, one of is either

me, my mom I'm getting, I'm

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lazy, I'm, I'm this, I'm that.

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I'm getting like, very negative talk.

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Mm-hmm.

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Of course now it's projection and

stuff like that, that I look back

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and healing and stuff, but I'm

getting a lot of negative talk.

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Mm-hmm.

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So it's just damn, if she says

I'm this, but then in school I'm

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loved, or people or it was very hard

because it didn't allow me to be my

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full self because at home I'm like.

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I'm this, I'm that, I'm this.

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So then when I'm in school, in high

school, I would close myself off

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or I was a lone wolf cool girl.

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I'm very popular.

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People, wanted to be around

me and things like that.

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I dressed really well.

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But I kept to myself because I

had these programming in the back

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of my mind, my about who I was.

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So me seeking those books and

the DVDs and all of that stuff,

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it was just let me see, honey.

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I guess I need to start thinking about

my life and getting my life together.

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At the time I was, I

wanted to be a songwriter.

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That was really big for me.

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I wanted to be a writer from Ave.

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I was like, I wanna be a writer.

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I wanna write books, I

wanna be a songwriter.

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I wanna be a screenwriter.

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That was really big for me.

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And so I would do that, but I

didn't have any encouragement.

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So it was just really me

getting the things out in my

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mind that was like going on.

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Octavia Marie: Yeah.

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And I think for me, again, now as

an adult and after, years of therapy

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and just doing the work for me,

I realized a lot of it was grief.

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I was just the quiet person.

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But I also, I come from the west

side of Chicago, moved to Texas as

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a middle schooler, very different.

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Environments, and I'm like,

what the heck is this?

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Aycee: I moved, I was from New York and

I moved to Jersey, but the good thing is

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that at that time, everybody who I was

friends with had just moved from New York.

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So it was like a bunch of New Yorkers

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yeah.

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It was a bunch of New Yorkers who just,

yeah 'cause that was like the thing like,

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oh, we're gonna move to Jersey, and then.

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Most everybody who I was cool with

either was from New York or they,

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their parents were from New York.

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One or the other.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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It was our neighbor.

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I, or my play cousins.

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But we lived in the same neighborhood.

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So it was our community.

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Community.

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Octavia Marie: And then I guess, and

somewhere along that road between that

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14-year-old girl and the woman who has now

written her own book you said the question

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that kept coming up was, who am I?

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Aycee: Mm-hmm.

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Octavia Marie: Not what I do.

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Not what are my gifts?

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Who am I?

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And for a lot of black women,

that question is, I think

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it's terrifying to sit with.

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Why is it the one that

you keep returning to

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Aycee: because you have no other

choice but to return to it.

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Look at what su lemme pull on my soapbox.

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I always, I only put on my

soapbox and get on my Malcolm X.

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Society doesn't allow us fullness.

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And so I feel as black women, you

fit these molds throughout your life.

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Whether it's a good girl, smart

person, all of these things.

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And then it's a constant cycle of that.

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And you're always constantly

coming back to who am I?

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Because they told me to do this and go

to school and get a job and all that.

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And that didn't work

for me and I'm unhappy.

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And all of that stuff.

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They told me to get married, they told

me to do this, they told me to have kids.

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All of these things that were quite

frankly, never meant for us, that we

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followed the rules and we did it, and

we're educated with all of this stuff, and

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we're still some people are still unhappy.

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Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.

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Aycee: And so you always come

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back to that question, I think, at

every different juncture in your life,

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or when you reach other canyons, is

because you have to get back to the root.

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And you have to figure that out.

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That's always gonna be a question.

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I know.

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My birthday just passed.

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I'm like, what the, what am I, I just

had a book come out and I'm like,

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what am I I still ask yes, really?

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Yes.

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That was a question like it's my birthday.

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What the hell is going on?

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And I'm sure I'll ask that in maybe

two years or three years or five years.

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Yeah.

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Because I'm always evolving.

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I'm always wanting to learn to

grow, to heal, to live, to thrive.

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But everything that the world

is reflects back to me that.

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I'm not good enough or that, as the

great brother Malcolm X said, the most

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disrespected woman is a black woman.

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The black woman.

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And, not to, get into the Bravo

universe, but I don't know if you

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watch Summer House, he may not, but

there's this big thing going on with

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Sierra and it's just here we are.

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You know what I mean?

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Octavia Marie: Yeah.

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And it's crazy because I don't watch

the show, but I've seen it and I'm

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like, so I, I have gone down the

rabbit hole and I'm like, oh, hell no.

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So you kinda gotta get into

that, and it's been a lot of

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that in the last couple of weeks.

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It just seems a lot of that happening

and we recognize exactly what it is.

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And I think that's why I

see so many black women.

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Getting behind Ciara.

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We don't know, a lot of us I watched

the show weren't let me say a lot of

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us, but there a lot of us weren't.

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Aycee: There's some

people who don't watch it.

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They watch just the Housewives

shows they're not into summer house

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and all of the offshoots at Bravo.

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Yeah, I'm, I like all the Bravo shows.

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See, mostly then, that's

my best friend she watches.

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All of them.

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And she'll me about my favorite

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Speaker 2: below deck.

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I like all the,

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Aycee: I showed, yeah,

she watches them all.

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And I'm the total opposite,

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like Top Chef, that's me.

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Like I'm in there.

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Octavia Marie: So I haven't turned on

Everybody's I have all these shows.

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I'm like, oh, I'm gonna watch that.

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I'm gonna watch that.

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Yeah.

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I watch my

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Aycee: shows and I read Child,

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Octavia Marie: When you

talked about that who am I?

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I felt that also it hit me because

I do this guided meditation and

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one of the question asked is who am I?

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Aycee: Mm-hmm.

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Octavia Marie: And I'll

be honest, some days.

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I don't know how to answer that.

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Aycee: Right.

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Because for so long, the, like

you said, the answers were shaped

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by everyone else's expectations.

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My career, my role, what

was I supposed to be?

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And a couple of years ago,

:

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colorectal cancer, stage three.

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I was going in for a routine colonoscopy,

and it went so fast from I'm, I

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don't know, you had a colonoscopy yet

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Speaker 2: My doctor, she's black.

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She wants, she likes to be proactive.

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So

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Aycee: yes,

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I'm gonna have to stay

outta pocket for that child

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Octavia Marie: because there are

no signs, really, no symptoms.

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I went down the research hole, but,

the oncologist told me, oh, you could

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have had it for years and didn't know

it because there are no symptoms.

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And by the time there are

symptoms, you about to die.

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I am stage three.

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And so I literally went from coming

out of being under at a colonoscopy

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to immediately them sending me to

another facility to start having scans.

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And within, within three weeks, I

have gone from a routine colonoscopy

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to, I have had met a cancer surgeon,

an oncologist, a gastroenterologist.

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I've had surgery to put a port in to

start my chemo, and within three weeks

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I was having my first chemo round.

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It went just that quickly.

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You don't have time to

do anything like this.

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Is, were you

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Speaker 2: used in the

bathroom like regularly?

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Octavia Marie: It's interesting and I

tell my doctor this now I had fibroids and

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I had a procedure to have embolization.

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Aycee: What is that?

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Octavia Marie: It's, they basically

burn off the fibroids but after

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that procedure, I started having

stomach issues I'd never had.

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I kept asking the doctor when I went

for my follow up for the, that procedure

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I'm having these stomach issues.

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Aycee: But you had stomach

issues in that time.

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Octavia Marie: Yes.

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Aycee: But before the surgery?

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Nothing.

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Octavia Marie: Nothing.

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Aycee: The link not saying I'm

not, yeah, I'm just saying.

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And, and this not to be all spiritual

and medical, me watching medical shows,

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probably because they had severed

something so they didn't grow back

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that the cancer needed to grow some, it

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turned

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Speaker 2: into because something

needed to grow somewhere else.

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Octavia Marie: It grew

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somewhere.

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Aycee: Yeah.

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Instead of them just

telling you to remove them.

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Octavia Marie: Yes.

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And so it was just like, you go through

this whole thing I had, eight rounds

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of chemo, six weeks of radiation, and

the surgery to remove it, and then the

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surgery to reverse everything afterwards.

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So that was like a whole, that whole

part was like a year and a half.

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Aycee: Wow.

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Octavia Marie: So then after that,

I've already been going through where,

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you are wanting to make changes.

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I'm not necessarily not happy, but I'm not

enjoying the work that I'm doing anymore.

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I was PR for 25.

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Aycee: Oh, you're on pr.

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Really?

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Where at, in, in where In Texas?

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Octavia Marie: I was in Los Angeles.

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I worked I did film and

entertainment for several years.

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Sports.

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I started out my career in the

music industry, transitioned to

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agency and then over into film tv,

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Aycee: I had a I don't, I think I

talked about this briefly in the book.

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I had a internship

'cause I went to school.

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My undergrad is in communications.

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I have my MBA in marketing.

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I wanted to be a publicist.

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Me and my friend had a PR company.

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We was doing a little parties

and stuff, and I had a big,

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huge internship opportunity

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I'm in my cousin's dorm room

at the time and I'm like,

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yes, I'm gonna change my life.

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I'm gonna be in pr, I'm gonna have

a, I'm gonna have an internship.

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And I remember I was sleeping

on her floor at the time, but

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she came back in the room.

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She was a ra, she was like,

girl, my dad just called me.

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The Twin Towers just got hit.

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And I was like, girl, whatever.

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We're New Yorkers.

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This is not the first time.

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Yeah.

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We, I'm, we're a little mute.

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She was like, no, for real?

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And I was like, what?

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And then I remember waking up.

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And I called and I said, Hey, I, and

I believe she answered the phone and

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I said, Hey, I have an internship

interview, but everything's, and she

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was like, we don't know what's going on.

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I'll call you back.

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And she never called back.

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And then, yeah, I didn't, I was just I was

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Octavia Marie: amazing.

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Aycee: Yeah.

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It was bad.

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I remember my mom, she

was like, come home.

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My mom was in Jersey at the

time, so I was in school in North

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Jersey and I had to, normally, it

would be like a 35 minute ride.

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I was in the car for three hours

on the New Jersey Turnpike.

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Octavia Marie: Wow.

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That's in, that's insane.

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That's insane.

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Aycee: I know, right?

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Octavia Marie: You said you had.

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Psychic and mediumship gifts from

childhood, from very, mm-hmm.

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From very early.

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Did you know you were unique?

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Did you know you were different?

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Alongside this search, and I'm assuming

that's before your, you hit your 14 to

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15, were you searching for these answers?

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You knew from a young, a

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Aycee: much younger age around then

that around:

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I started Astro projecting a lot.

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I always had like prophetic dreams

and stuff like that prior to, but

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that was when I was like having

like outof body experiences.

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I'm like, what is going on?

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And then I started using over

the counter sleep medication so

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I can go to sleep because I had

to go to school in the morning.

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I had to catch the bus.

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It was a lot.

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I always knew that I had that

connection from a young age.

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It was just like something that was there.

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Octavia Marie: Was there a

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moment where your spiritual gifts

and I guess the scholarly side of

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you, made peace with each other?

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Did you question it?

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Were those the questioning of

the answers were coming from?

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Was it the dichotomy of the

spiritual side of you and this

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scholarly academic side of you?

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Aycee: I, that's one of the reasons

why I wanted to funny things and

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why I wanted to write screenplays

because I had this imagination and

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I had all these visions and dreams.

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But that was another reason why I wanted

to work in pr because I remember, I

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have family who know people in the

entertainment industry, things like,

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I always knew when people were lying.

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I would see certain things.

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I'm like, damn.

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I'm like, that's not true.

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This motherfucker did X, Y, and Z or

they were doing this and I remember

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just having these, and I would start

going to different places and stuff like

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that, and I'm like, yeah, I was right.

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I was right.

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And so I was like, oh,

I should just do pr.

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I'll be really good at this.

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I feel really good at this.

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I was like, oh, this will be my way in.

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Because I always wanted to write

whether it was screenplays.

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That was really what I

wanted to do at the time.

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I wanted to go to film school, and

so my imagination and my visions

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and all of that stuff, I was like,

oh, this will leave me there.

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Octavia Marie: That was, you

were gonna be the next Ava.

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Ava started out,

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Aycee: was a publicist

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Octavia Marie: and yeah, she was a PR

spent her entire career in pr and she

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talks about that when people, talk about

starting late or pivoting and you are

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too old or it's too late to do something.

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She spent 20 plus years doing film and

entertainment, PR and I, she had done

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a documentary, a hip hop documentary

before that, when she was still doing

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pr, but then, next thing she's writing

these screenplays and we now we have,

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Aycee: right, yeah.

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I don't look at, I look at it, I

always joke when I, because I still

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have aspirations for film and tv.

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I was gonna say you could still do that.

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Yeah.

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I'm still, yeah.

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I'm still I, I spent, I went to

ask acting school for two years.

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Like really?

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Yeah.

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I still have those aspirations of

film tv, but I know this is part

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of my calling the spiritual work.

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Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.

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Aycee: So it'll all merge together.

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You'll see me on a big screen,

I'm sure, or writing something

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or producing something.

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I'm I'll guarantee that I feel that

in my bones, but I don't, I, I always

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laugh and I say I always knew that I

would have success or even fame later

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on because if not, if I got it when I

wanted it, I'll be on somebody reality

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show talking about, I used to be famous.

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I'd be in a halfway house who, listen, I'm

a Pisces, that industry with a tour, me,

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yeah.

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Heart.

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It's not,

383

:

I did not have the boundaries, the

wherewithal, if I were to really.

384

:

And I realized this because there

were opportunities like in my

385

:

late teens, like 17, 18, 19, in my

twenties, I remember being, I used to

386

:

do a lot of background acting and I

remember being on law and Order, and

387

:

really,

388

:

I've never told this story.

389

:

I was a back doing background acting, and

it was, at the time I think I was getting

390

:

like a voucher for like my SAG card.

391

:

So it was like a big deal.

392

:

I was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna get it.

393

:

I always say that spirit always protected

me because I don't think I would've

394

:

handled it because we were on break, we

were, craft services, all of that stuff.

395

:

And one of the producers tried to

be fresh with me and I was like, 17.

396

:

And I like moved back from him

like, 'cause I was at shock.

397

:

I felt it like really in my body, it

felt so uncomfortable and I never.

398

:

Did background again ever

after that for law and order.

399

:

And I was, because I knew he, because

he looked at me, he looked at me when

400

:

I jumped back because he knew that,

I knew oh, you trying to be fresh?

401

:

Octavia Marie: My

402

:

goodness.

403

:

And as a as a 17-year-old, that's

404

:

Aycee: Yes.

405

:

I was like, like I, I felt so

uncomfortable in my body 'cause he

406

:

was like trying to show me something.

407

:

But he got so close that it was like

in my personal space and I, and he

408

:

had leaned in a very predatory way.

409

:

And I like jumped back.

410

:

I was like, whoa.

411

:

Octavia Marie: And sadly, most 17 year

olds would not have the wherewithal.

412

:

Aycee: And I, and he acted funny

with me, the rest of the set,

413

:

the rest of the time there.

414

:

Of course.

415

:

And I never did background acting

for, because at first it was

416

:

like, oh my God, you're so good.

417

:

We're gonna invite you back.

418

:

We have a whole bunch of other scenes.

419

:

'cause it was, the particular

episodes were high school like.

420

:

And I was like, running in the background

and talking, walking, all of that stuff.

421

:

Maybe I never, I ain't never met, I never

even got back on that set after that day.

422

:

Yeah.

423

:

And I felt like Spirit was,

there were always instances where

424

:

Spirit was protecting me from

it 'cause I couldn't handle it.

425

:

Of course.

426

:

Same with the PR stuff.

427

:

Nine 11, it was always like,

damn, am I supposed to do this?

428

:

But I don't think it was

supposed to happen at that time.

429

:

Yeah.

430

:

I think it was supposed to be

later in life because now going

431

:

into the industry I know who I am.

432

:

Octavia Marie: It is so very interesting

to see, to see your background and,

433

:

because one of the things I noticed

is your work is very expansive

434

:

you've worked with CEOs, you've

worked with celebrities, high profile

435

:

leaders, now, seeing your background.

436

:

I definitely can see you

as the next Ava DuVernay,

437

:

Aycee: but I don't like directing.

438

:

Now you wanna

439

:

I would, I like writer, actor, producer.

440

:

Okay.

441

:

But if I had to see that choose

two, it would be producer, actor,

442

:

Octavia Marie: I could see that.

443

:

Aycee: I went to New York, NYU School

of Professional Studies and I did

444

:

a concentration, like a certificate

program in film and TV production.

445

:

And I remember one of

my classes was direct.

446

:

And I said, oh no, I don't wanna do this.

447

:

It didn't excite me.

448

:

It was just,

449

:

this is it?

450

:

Yeah.

451

:

Yeah.

452

:

I was like, this is it.

453

:

This is what we want.

454

:

I don't wanna, I was like, I

remember taking that directing class.

455

:

I said, oh no, this is my last one.

456

:

I don't wanna do this because I

thought I wanted to be a director.

457

:

So absolutely not.

458

:

And then when I took the producing

track, I was like, oh, I like this.

459

:

I like producing, I like

writing, I like acting.

460

:

These are the things

that I like directing.

461

:

Absolutely not.

462

:

Octavia Marie: When you sit down

with other people in your work,

463

:

what do you think, what's one

thing that surprises people most

464

:

when they first sit down with you?

465

:

Aycee: Probably and this is my

fault, I like to say I'm a little

466

:

I go very deep with people.

467

:

I'm, I think in certain content of mine

is very surface level, but when I'm

468

:

together with people, like either in

person or one-on-one on Zoom or something,

469

:

I'm like, no, we're gonna jump in.

470

:

Let's get to the root of it.

471

:

So I think that's the most surprising.

472

:

I know people are like, oh, I

dunno if it's gonna be like this.

473

:

I was like, I dunno what do you think?

474

:

Gonna girl, like

475

:

social media and the podcast version

is very, like you said, very surface.

476

:

And it's not me

477

:

work.

478

:

Yeah.

479

:

No, we doing work.

480

:

We doing work here.

481

:

If I said half of the things

that I say to my clients or.

482

:

Even the stuff that I really

think or that I channel, y'all

483

:

think I'm damn near crazy.

484

:

Y'all think I'm crazy if I post a bunch

of stuff, which I'm leaning more into

485

:

now that I'm like, yeah, whatever.

486

:

Like I'll just do it.

487

:

You know what I mean?

488

:

Octavia Marie: Yeah.

489

:

Aycee: But yeah, that's, yeah,

I'm a lot deeper, a lot more.

490

:

Let's get in there and

let's figure this out.

491

:

Let's get to the root cause of stuff.

492

:

I don't care who you are.

493

:

I think that's why I attract

certain, high profile people.

494

:

Fuck, I don't care.

495

:

Show you.

496

:

I don't give a shit about that.

497

:

Okay, let, come on,

let's get this work done.

498

:

You need a speech coach,

you need some, you

499

:

Octavia Marie: you need

some media training.

500

:

Aycee: Hello.

501

:

Octavia Marie: Which they don't do.

502

:

Aycee: They don't do training at all.

503

:

Octavia Marie: They

504

:

Aycee: don't do media training anymore.

505

:

They don't do any of these things anymore.

506

:

You mentioned that you go deep.

507

:

'cause even in, in the book,

I was like, oh, she goes deep.

508

:

And that's surface level.

509

:

I could have went more

510

:

I was just

511

:

Speaker 2: Airplane conversation.

512

:

This is my air, my version

of airplane conversation.

513

:

Octavia Marie: Embody your magic.

514

:

Create the life of your dreams through

astrology, numerology, mediumship,

515

:

metaphysics, and human design.

516

:

I've always been into astrology.

517

:

We would say initially

the surface level stuff.

518

:

I've always been, oh, let me

read my horoscope and Right,

519

:

Aycee: right,

520

:

Octavia Marie: back in the day,

my friend and I is so funny.

521

:

My friend and I, we would get

into Susan Miller a lot and

522

:

she, she would have these deep,

523

:

Aycee: I love Susan Miller

524

:

child.

525

:

Octavia Marie: I'm just now

learning oh, placements and,

526

:

Libra Rising and Libra, you

527

:

Aycee: know, some, yeah.

528

:

Susan really just, she

just talks about sun stuff.

529

:

Yes.

530

:

And rising stuff, sun stuff.

531

:

Mostly through all, she just

started telling people, I would

532

:

even say maybe 10 years ago to

start reading for your rising sign.

533

:

Maybe 10, 15 years ago where

she started doing that.

534

:

Octavia Marie: You say that astrology

gives us the framework for who we are,

535

:

but our life experiences give us the

ju the flavor within those frameworks.

536

:

Aycee: Mm-hmm.

537

:

Octavia Marie: I think for me that

means that the chart isn't a verdict.

538

:

Like it's like a starting point,

539

:

Aycee: right?

540

:

So I like to say as far as comparing

the modalities, when you think about

541

:

astrology and human design, right?

542

:

And that's, that one's a new,

now that one's a completely new

543

:

one for me.

544

:

So astrology is the who, what,

where, why human design is the how.

545

:

Octavia Marie: Okay.

546

:

Aycee: And what I mean, how it's

how the world is responding to you,

547

:

how you're interacting with people.

548

:

'cause what did you find out?

549

:

Your aura type.

550

:

What's your aura type?

551

:

Octavia Marie: I'm a

manifesting generator.

552

:

With a one three.

553

:

Aycee: Okay, so you're a one three.

554

:

So as a manifesting generator, you like,

555

:

Octavia Marie: I don't know

what any of that means.

556

:

Aycee: Doing multiple things.

557

:

You like all sorts of stuff.

558

:

You like research first

and then you experiment.

559

:

So that is Oh yeah.

560

:

How the world's responding to you.

561

:

And that made you a

really great publicist.

562

:

'Cause you were a manifesting generator.

563

:

Manifesting generators, make

great publicists, projectors

564

:

make great publicists, generators

make great crisis managers.

565

:

They need, I can

566

:

see

567

:

Aycee: that

568

:

specifics.

569

:

They need to be specifics.

570

:

But manifesters, regular manifesters

and reflectors, they couldn't,

571

:

I don't, they can't handle pr.

572

:

They need to be like writing.

573

:

Here's the thing, right?

574

:

And.

575

:

This is what I tell my clients

and I'll tell you, do not

576

:

discredit your experience.

577

:

You have what, 25 years

in public relations?

578

:

Octavia Marie: Yeah.

579

:

Aycee: So there is a need for

actual pr, but here's, I think you

580

:

have, I think, do you know your

moon sign and your rising sign?

581

:

Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.

582

:

Rising.

583

:

Aycee: Okay.

584

:

What is it?

585

:

Octavia Marie: I'm a Libra

moon and a Libra rising.

586

:

Aycee: Wow.

587

:

Okay.

588

:

Alright.

589

:

No, this is good.

590

:

This is good news, right?

591

:

So relationships are key for you, right?

592

:

So here's the thing with what, you have an

experience, they're still in need for it.

593

:

You have to, as long as you've out of the

mindset, because remember you come from

594

:

an era, even me as an older millennial,

I come from an era of gatekeepers.

595

:

Octavia Marie: Mm-hmm.

596

:

Aycee: You had to intern, you had to

do before somebody, there was steps.

597

:

Octavia Marie: There were steps.

598

:

Aycee: There's no steps now,

but the skill is still needed.

599

:

So that's why people, oh I'm a

PR person, girl, you don't even

600

:

know how to write a press release.

601

:

Get outta here.

602

:

They're still,

603

:

Octavia Marie: and it's so crazy

604

:

Aycee: steps that need to be taken

even though the gatekeepers are gone.

605

:

So you are coming from an era where

there were, let's just say a handful

606

:

of people who controlled the spin.

607

:

The spin now is uncontrollable.

608

:

I can post a crazy video

today and it go make a viral.

609

:

And then what's the what's the talent?

610

:

A ig, what is it?

611

:

IMG, right?

612

:

Yeah.

613

:

I-M-G-I-M-G.

614

:

It's I-M-G-I-M-G

615

:

Speaker 2: will be like, oh

my gosh, she's so talented.

616

:

Let's sign her.

617

:

Aycee: Let's sign her

618

:

Speaker 2: from a video.

619

:

You see what I'm saying?

620

:

So there's this avenue of possibility,

but there's also not that much skill.

621

:

Aycee: No.

622

:

Speaker 2: So you are putting people in

place or people are having these moments

623

:

or 'cause there's no gatekeepers and

you're like, oh, I wonder what happened?

624

:

Why didn't she, wasn't she successful

after that viral thing or after,

625

:

because she doesn't have the skill.

626

:

Aycee: Mm-hmm.

627

:

Mm-hmm.

628

:

A lot of that, and I and that may be

probably one of the reasons, because

629

:

it's probably part of some of the

push and pull for me is because I

630

:

do come from a different era of PR

and everybody thinks they can do PR

631

:

it's not just about getting media.

632

:

It's a whole, you, like you said, a step.

633

:

Speaker 2: It's pr,

634

:

Aycee: it's public relations, it's

pr and it's not just social media.

635

:

It's not just, it's,

636

:

Speaker 2: it's whole.

637

:

There's a whole lot of stuff behind it

638

:

Octavia Marie: and nobody understands

the storytelling and how that works.

639

:

I had someone pitch me and it's

very clear what my podcast is about.

640

:

It's black women.

641

:

We're talking about black story, black

women's stories, their love, their joy,

642

:

and I had someone pitch me two things.

643

:

She pitched me twice

644

:

Speaker 2: one,

645

:

Aycee: and the first one she pitched

me was an author that had wrote a

646

:

military book, like a crime thriller.

647

:

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

648

:

Aycee: Black man.

649

:

And I'm sure the book is great.

650

:

Speaker 2: I'm sure the book is great,

651

:

Aycee: but that clearly not only

did you not research who you were

652

:

pitching, you didn't listen, you haven't

653

:

read

654

:

Speaker 2: anything that's happening

now that people are complaining about.

655

:

Why are influencers

656

:

Aycee: mm-hmm.

657

:

Speaker 2: Like doing

red carpet interviews

658

:

Aycee: and they have been horrible

659

:

Speaker 2: because they don't have

this, they don't have the skill.

660

:

Skill.

661

:

They have the popularity, have the,

they have what people think is pr,

662

:

they, they have all the followers.

663

:

They don't have the skill.

664

:

So of course I'm not gonna ask you

about a movie that you did in college.

665

:

I didn't read about that.

666

:

I only have capacity for what you

did six months ago because I got

667

:

invited to that movie premiere maybe.

668

:

Aycee: Yes.

669

:

Speaker 2: Maybe, I don't

know your body of work.

670

:

Aycee: She, nobody researches anything.

671

:

Nobody prepares for because how do you

do something like that and not prepare?

672

:

Speaker 2: Nobody's reading.

673

:

Aycee: No one's reading.

674

:

I said this on my podcast, and if

I on a podcast episode of mine and

675

:

in my newsletter, I said, because

they took out liner notes from cd.

676

:

Nobody's re nobody's reading.

677

:

That was the first I went to.

678

:

I went to the Wiz, went, so got my cd.

679

:

Put the thing in there and open that

book, the first thing you did was ring

680

:

the song lyrics who

681

:

Speaker 2: wrote, that's

how I knew who wrote songs.

682

:

That's how I knew everybody.

683

:

You

684

:

knew

685

:

Speaker 2: who it, and I

started doing research.

686

:

That's how when I wanted to be a

songwriter, that's, I was, oh my

687

:

God, I wanna be like Diane Warren.

688

:

She, her first big break was to the

beat of the Rhythm of the Night.

689

:

It was in the Last Dragon soundtrack.

690

:

I know that, as problematic as she has

become, but whatever, like I know that.

691

:

Aycee: Yeah,

692

:

because I was reading.

693

:

Octavia Marie: No one reading

because people are illiterate.

694

:

No one is reading past

a third grade level.

695

:

Third or fifth grade.

696

:

And that's wild to me.

697

:

Aycee: It's not surprising to me.

698

:

Octavia Marie: I dunno,

it was surprising to me.

699

:

Aycee: It's not, if you really

think about the Malcolm X's, you the

700

:

mm-hmm.

701

:

All of the people back then, right?

702

:

They're trying to get us away

from our mind and our body.

703

:

I talk about this a lot.

704

:

The difference between, now we,

this is the biggest, excuse me,

705

:

in this day and age, this is the

most information that we've had

706

:

access to in our lifetimes, right?

707

:

If I open up an app or anything and I can

get news every three minutes, something

708

:

changing, I don't even have time to be

grounded in myself, to be back in my body.

709

:

Back then, fifties, sixties, yes, they

were out protesting, marching, speaking,

710

:

all of that, and then they came back

to their communities and was able to

711

:

ground themselves, able to be with

people, able to be within their bodies.

712

:

We don't have that.

713

:

They want us to be isolated.

714

:

They don't want us to read.

715

:

They want us to overwhelm us with

information that's not our own

716

:

thoughts, so we just give up.

717

:

Yeah.

718

:

And we said I guess that's true.

719

:

We would, we didn't have the

global aspect of all of this.

720

:

Like you said, information is just

being thrown at us and, there's

721

:

no critical thinking skills.

722

:

And people just see, the big print

on a photo and it's oh, that's true.

723

:

And if you just do a quick research, you

would know that what you Google, you can

724

:

Speaker 2: just Google,

725

:

Octavia Marie: you can just Google

really quick and know that is not true.

726

:

And so people are, it's the

first, I wanna be the first to

727

:

do something, the first to show.

728

:

Because the other part of

this, like you said they're.

729

:

Not searching for, but they're,

730

:

Speaker 2: everybody wants to be first.

731

:

Aycee: They're chasing, they chasing

732

:

Speaker 2: that.

733

:

Yes, they're chasing the line.

734

:

The virality.

735

:

Yeah.

736

:

Everybody wants to be first at

talking about something in the

737

:

hot take and everything, and

you don't even know the facts.

738

:

I remember somebody,

it was on thread, don't

739

:

Aycee: even know the facts.

740

:

Speaker 2: Someone had posted

something about Real Housewives.

741

:

So it was something, and I said,

and I went, 'cause I was like, huh,

742

:

I didn't see this person posted.

743

:

I don't follow any of them

or anything like that.

744

:

But I was like, I didn't

hear anything from that.

745

:

So I went and I researched it

and then I came back to the post.

746

:

I said, this is not true.

747

:

I just researched it.

748

:

There's no news updates

about this even being true.

749

:

And then the girlfriend, so she's oh wow.

750

:

Thank you for verifying it.

751

:

Why didn't you, before you posted, didn't

752

:

Aycee: you verify

753

:

Speaker 2: silly

754

:

Octavia Marie: because she wanted

to be the first's, what I'm saying?

755

:

So with the news, we wanted to be the

first and that's interesting because

756

:

I think your reality and your lived

circumstances and your race and your

757

:

religion and your socioeconomics,

all of us are living in this.

758

:

And I think for black women, you

talked about like your 80 20 framework.

759

:

Aycee: Mm-hmm.

760

:

Octavia Marie: And 80%, I think

you said 80% of your reality,

761

:

Aycee: all of your chart, all

of that stuff is accurate.

762

:

But we live in the 20%.

763

:

We live in the 20%.

764

:

And for us, for black women, it's so

much living in that 20% we're not, how

765

:

do you hold the truth and then also help.

766

:

How do we find our way back to

the other 80%, the where, the

767

:

real, where the soul of us lives?

768

:

Because we're so focused on this 20%,

769

:

Speaker 2: the 20 per.

770

:

Listen, I always, and this might rub

some people the wrong way, but I'm okay.

771

:

Let's do it.

772

:

The biggest thing that's

killing black women is religion.

773

:

That was my next one.

774

:

That's in the 20%.

775

:

Aycee: It's in the 20%

776

:

Speaker 2: because it's so limited.

777

:

It's so limited.

778

:

There's nothing there for you.

779

:

But rules and regulations that have

nothing to do with you, you are

780

:

the most powerful thing on earth.

781

:

Of course, they're gonna tell

you, you need a man, you need

782

:

this, you need all of that stuff.

783

:

Nothing wrong with having a relationship.

784

:

I would like to get married one day.

785

:

Children, absolutely not.

786

:

There's nothing wrong with any of that.

787

:

But if they're telling you that's what

makes you this or that, that's limiting.

788

:

Octavia Marie: And that's the message

I'm 55 now and I had my daughter

789

:

young, but I knew very early.

790

:

I would not be having anymore.

791

:

Aycee: Listen, I love a one and done

792

:

Octavia Marie: one and done.

793

:

And she is 35 now.

794

:

But once I got her through college it was

like, okay, I'm gonna do some things so

795

:

many people are waiting for that partner

to go visit this place and do these

796

:

things, why can't you just do those now?

797

:

Now why do you, I'm only,

798

:

Speaker 2: I'm a solo

dolo myself all the time.

799

:

Aycee: I'm a, I have been to

the Caribbean, I have been to

800

:

Europe, I have been to Mexico.

801

:

I'm not waiting for that perfect partner.

802

:

You do know that your life,

you can still live your life.

803

:

If those things, it's

804

:

Speaker 2: hard to,

805

:

Aycee: but do you want

those things because Yeah,

806

:

Speaker 2: people of that

807

:

Octavia Marie: Yeah.

808

:

I'm 23 or 25 and I'm like, and

I'm supposed, I'm not married yet.

809

:

I'm like five

810

:

five.

811

:

Sit down.

812

:

Whatcha talking about life?

813

:

Aycee: Do you know how my little

nephew who, I call him my nephews,

814

:

actually my cousins I don't have

any brothers, sisters, but I, the

815

:

age difference, they call me auntie.

816

:

He's 22 now.

817

:

He'll be 23 I think this year.

818

:

And he's yeah, I wanna

get my own for what?

819

:

Your dad don't let, you

don't have to pay rent.

820

:

Your dad owns own company.

821

:

He's not tripping about it.

822

:

He just wants you to be in

school, have a job, whatcha doing?

823

:

Octavia Marie: What are you doing?

824

:

And so when you go back to the religion

portion of it, because like you

825

:

said, that 20% is holding us hostage.

826

:

We're talking about human design

and astrology and mediumship and

827

:

religion says that's demonic.

828

:

That big conversation is happening.

829

:

Aycee: Of course.

830

:

Anything to learn about yourself.

831

:

Anything to learn about

832

:

Speaker 2: your

833

:

Octavia Marie: Exactly.

834

:

And give you freedom on a personal level.

835

:

Yes, of course it would be demonic.

836

:

Yes.

837

:

Speaker 2: Why would it be great

if it's gonna give you autonomy?

838

:

Aycee: Autonomy, absolutely.

839

:

Speaker 2: That's why would it be,

840

:

wouldn't it be, of course

it has to be demonic.

841

:

It's allowing you to think for yourself.

842

:

Aycee: So, how do we get us past that?

843

:

Like you said, getting past

the 20% to get to the 80%,

844

:

Speaker 2: you have to be willing.

845

:

Aycee: Yeah.

846

:

Speaker 2: You have to be willing to

die to whatever you have been told.

847

:

You have to be willing to do that.

848

:

You have to be willing to completely

die to your old version of yourself and

849

:

say, I'm going to learn something new.

850

:

Yeah.

851

:

So you say the human design is the how?

852

:

The how.

853

:

The, how.

854

:

'cause that's how the

world's responding to you.

855

:

Aycee: Okay.

856

:

So for example you said that my human

design, my manifesting generator

857

:

is I'm just all over the place.

858

:

I'm doing all these things.

859

:

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

860

:

Aycee: For someone who has never heard of

it, what, why should a black woman who is

861

:

already carrying a lot actually give this

862

:

Speaker 2: hurt?

863

:

Does it make your life easier?

864

:

Yes.

865

:

It just makes your life easier.

866

:

It'll make it easier for

you to have guidelines.

867

:

Not rules, but guidelines.

868

:

Oh, okay, this is why, like for

me, for instance, I'm a projector.

869

:

My life moves off of invitations,

meaning major things in my life.

870

:

My goal is to just live my life,

do the things I want to do.

871

:

The things that are gonna change

my life are gonna be invitations.

872

:

Correct.

873

:

That's how it's always happen.

874

:

I've got invited to this or my book

deal, somebody, they reached out to me.

875

:

They were all invitations.

876

:

I also have someone who I know who

was on a popular TV show and she had

877

:

done TV before, but the show wasn't

successful and then the producers

878

:

of another show, they dmd her.

879

:

She's a projector.

880

:

So it's those type of things

for manifesting generators.

881

:

I always say keep it

in the same wheelhouse.

882

:

So like Rihanna, she is

a manifesting generator.

883

:

She has Fenty everything.

884

:

It's in the same wheelhouse.

885

:

The issue with manifesting generator,

I'd like to say they wanna be

886

:

a hairstylist and a real estate

agent, and they open up this and

887

:

it's just like, why don't you just.

888

:

Have a hair empire, you could sell

hair, then color, then maybe you

889

:

help stylists build their own brand.

890

:

But Rihanna, she does it really well.

891

:

So that's an example of a

manifesting generator who has like

892

:

a wheelhouse of something, like a

theme, like a through line of it.

893

:

Aycee: So

894

:

Speaker 2: it just makes things easier.

895

:

Aycee: Makes things easier.

896

:

Now you've also talked

about self-rejection.

897

:

Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.

898

:

Aycee: And what happens when

we don't speak our truth?

899

:

Because one, I think

that's part of the problem.

900

:

So we're not clear on what it is we want.

901

:

You wanna get married, great.

902

:

You wanna get married, but do you

wanna get married because of this?

903

:

Or is that really a true desire of yours?

904

:

I think sometimes we are not

clear on what it is we want.

905

:

And so when we are putting all

these things out there and then

906

:

we are not getting them 'cause

we are not clear on what it is

907

:

we truly want, we're asking for,

908

:

Speaker 2: almost doesn't count.

909

:

Aycee: Almost doesn't count.

910

:

Speaker 2: That's the red deal.

911

:

It almost doesn't

912

:

Aycee: count every time.

913

:

Yeah.

914

:

And every time we don't say what we want.

915

:

We add another layer and that's been

my theme throughout this, with this

916

:

podcast is just one black women healing.

917

:

And we don't always have to

be that strong independent.

918

:

Mm-hmm.

919

:

And when I say soft life, and

I'm not saying like the whimsical

920

:

way, but I just mean there is

a way of ease to doing things.

921

:

But we're, you wouldn't be

922

:

Speaker 2: busy.

923

:

You still gotta work though.

924

:

Aycee: You gotta work and Exactly.

925

:

But we're, a lot of us aren't

doing the work of it all.

926

:

And we're not getting into the weeds and

like you say, the canyons, because you

927

:

gotta go through those canyons you said

that the canyon work and so for, I guess

928

:

for the woman listening right now and

who's doing this, some people without

929

:

realizing it, what does self-rejection

look like on an ordinary Tuesday?

930

:

Speaker 2: Gosh, that's easy.

931

:

Let's even, I'm a Taurus moon, so

let's take it down to food, right?

932

:

You not, you denying yourself of going out

to dinner after a really hard day at work.

933

:

Yes, you have a budget and

you supposed to be on track.

934

:

Nobody said you gotta go eat bad food.

935

:

You can take yourself to an organic

place that serves farm to table food and

936

:

you can get a meal there or something.

937

:

So denying yourself that, or saying that

you don't like some something and you

938

:

really, but mostly, most of the time

women do this a lot when it comes to

939

:

dating is that they're like, oh, I can

deal with this and I can deal with that.

940

:

And it's just no, you can't.

941

:

You don't want that.

942

:

Aycee: You don't want that.

943

:

Speaker 2: Or let's use

like the job, for instance.

944

:

Or you are working at a place and.

945

:

They want you to do extra work,

and you're like, no, that's

946

:

not in my job description.

947

:

And you don't fight back, punch

back on that or something.

948

:

It's so many little things.

949

:

Or say if you're a person who likes to

get dressed and likes to, wear certain

950

:

things or certain stuff, you might

think it's too much for a certain place

951

:

or some it can be any, it can be any

little thing that you're just saying no

952

:

to when you really wanna say yes to it.

953

:

Aycee: Yeah.

954

:

That, that, now that makes a lot of sense.

955

:

I talk about that on the podcast black

women deserve ease, not just resilience.

956

:

We're always, in spite of we do, in spite

of, we have, and like you say, you've

957

:

connected this to like honest desire.

958

:

If you want a relationship you.

959

:

Okay.

960

:

Then

961

:

Speaker 2: to say that,

say you want it I get it.

962

:

Everybody's, it's

963

:

Aycee: okay to say

964

:

Speaker 2: that everybody's centering

men, but if you want a relationship,

965

:

just say you want a relationship.

966

:

Aycee: Yeah, because you, like you

said, you don't have to pro like you

967

:

perform,

968

:

Speaker 2: right?

969

:

You don't have to perform decentering me.

970

:

Like just say you wanna a release,

I wanna, I want a relationship.

971

:

I would like to get married.

972

:

Will I marry anybody?

973

:

Absolutely not.

974

:

That doesn't mean that it's

this, it's my master of marriage.

975

:

If it don't happen, it don't happen.

976

:

I'm gonna be all right.

977

:

Aycee: This is coming up

a lot, I don't want this.

978

:

But then because they're performing

that they don't actually want it.

979

:

I don't need anybody.

980

:

And but their behavior is

saying, please just love

981

:

Speaker 2: me.

982

:

You using the wrong word anyway.

983

:

You're not celibate, you're

abstinence, you're not on a religious

984

:

ab, not on a religious quest.

985

:

That's the

986

:

Aycee: different,

987

:

Speaker 2: the big difference.

988

:

Difference speak negativity

over your life any damn way.

989

:

Aycee: Yeah.

990

:

And

991

:

Speaker 2: even.

992

:

Aycee: But then that causes them to

make their discernment gets off and

993

:

they'll start making decisions based

on these desires that they aren't

994

:

being honest about and what they want.

995

:

So they're accepting these bare minimum

996

:

Speaker 2: error.

997

:

Bear.

998

:

Aycee: It is not even bare

minimum because, I, and I said

999

:

they wanted to, they would.

:

00:42:48,533 --> 00:42:51,203

Most people, he would if he wanted to.

:

00:42:51,278 --> 00:42:54,383

Speaker 2: I run that the hard way and

as soon as he wanted find out, he won't.

:

00:42:54,383 --> 00:42:55,493

You gotta move on.

:

00:42:56,033 --> 00:42:59,843

And this, here's the thing, and

I'm saying this with as much love.

:

00:42:59,993 --> 00:43:02,663

I know people want to be chosen.

:

00:43:03,113 --> 00:43:08,033

I get that you have to choose

yourself, but at the same time, at

:

00:43:08,033 --> 00:43:09,773

what cost do you wanna be chosen?

:

00:43:10,463 --> 00:43:10,883

Yes.

:

00:43:11,093 --> 00:43:13,523

I don't wanna be, I don't

wanna be chosen at any cost.

:

00:43:14,213 --> 00:43:15,113

Aycee: I don't wanna be chosen.

:

00:43:15,113 --> 00:43:16,373

Speaker 2: I've never been that desperate.

:

00:43:16,958 --> 00:43:17,378

Aycee: At all

:

00:43:17,383 --> 00:43:18,883

Speaker 2: Ever in my life.

:

00:43:18,973 --> 00:43:22,123

Even in high school, I never, I

had never been that desperate.

:

00:43:22,123 --> 00:43:23,953

You say, you don't want me one time?

:

00:43:24,163 --> 00:43:24,943

Okay, no problem.

:

00:43:25,213 --> 00:43:25,993

Gotta go

:

00:43:26,653 --> 00:43:26,893

Aycee: there.

:

00:43:26,893 --> 00:43:27,133

I to go.

:

00:43:28,273 --> 00:43:32,353

You talked about, earlier about

you were able to see and get with

:

00:43:32,353 --> 00:43:37,123

the film producer that vibe and

you said that our body tells us

:

00:43:37,363 --> 00:43:37,693

Speaker 2: mm-hmm.

:

00:43:38,603 --> 00:43:39,293

Aycee: Everything,

:

00:43:39,533 --> 00:43:40,223

Speaker 2: Everything.

:

00:43:42,083 --> 00:43:43,253

Aycee: But yet we ignore it.

:

00:43:43,253 --> 00:43:44,903

You, we, we all have gifts.

:

00:43:44,903 --> 00:43:45,983

We're ignoring them.

:

00:43:46,293 --> 00:43:50,613

Speaker 2: Even down with, not to

bring this up, as with you, you

:

00:43:50,613 --> 00:43:55,833

noticed immediately after you had

that surgery that something was off.

:

00:43:56,283 --> 00:43:56,403

Aycee: Mm-hmm.

:

00:43:56,643 --> 00:43:59,793

You said, I ain't never had no

stomach problems ever in my damn life.

:

00:44:00,213 --> 00:44:01,893

Octavia Marie: I knew

immediately something was wrong.

:

00:44:02,248 --> 00:44:02,488

Aycee: Were you?

:

00:44:03,598 --> 00:44:04,138

For me,

:

00:44:04,198 --> 00:44:04,738

exactly.

:

00:44:04,738 --> 00:44:05,108

For you.

:

00:44:05,223 --> 00:44:05,403

Speaker 2: You

:

00:44:05,403 --> 00:44:05,893

Aycee: already knew.

:

00:44:05,893 --> 00:44:07,363

My body already knew.

:

00:44:07,483 --> 00:44:09,523

Speaker 2: Your body

already knows these things.

:

00:44:09,583 --> 00:44:13,043

What happens that you are trying to

convince yourself that is not true.

:

00:44:13,463 --> 00:44:15,023

Aycee: So how do we get back to that?

:

00:44:15,233 --> 00:44:15,803

Back to trust.

:

00:44:15,803 --> 00:44:18,413

Trusting what our but

is already telling us

:

00:44:18,413 --> 00:44:19,043

Speaker 2: trust.

:

00:44:19,253 --> 00:44:22,223

You have to this, you

have to trust your body.

:

00:44:22,223 --> 00:44:24,983

You have, that's why I know when

I, when it, I'll use relationships.

:

00:44:24,983 --> 00:44:29,153

When I'm dealing with someone, I'm dating

them, my body, something will happen and

:

00:44:29,153 --> 00:44:32,573

I'll get either triggered or something

and I'll have a very adverse reaction.

:

00:44:32,573 --> 00:44:35,243

Meaning I'll start crying like clockwork.

:

00:44:35,693 --> 00:44:38,753

That shit will be done,

excuse my language, in a

:

00:44:38,753 --> 00:44:41,483

matter of four to six weeks.

:

00:44:43,448 --> 00:44:46,908

And I always say, and I learned this

from my dad, and if you read the

:

00:44:46,908 --> 00:44:52,628

book, my dad always told me, A good

attorney is gonna ask you for the truth

:

00:44:52,628 --> 00:44:53,978

and never bring up the truth again.

:

00:44:55,118 --> 00:44:56,108

Same with pr.

:

00:44:56,198 --> 00:45:00,318

A good PR good publicist is gonna ask you

for the truth and never bring it up again.

:

00:45:01,868 --> 00:45:05,228

Aycee: And then we're gonna figure

out what the story is exactly.

:

00:45:06,068 --> 00:45:10,178

And the, but the problem with that

sometimes is that when the story is

:

00:45:10,178 --> 00:45:14,378

crafted, the story is so far from who you

really are, that you are bound to crack.

:

00:45:14,978 --> 00:45:18,038

You can't craft a story

that is not who you are.

:

00:45:18,098 --> 00:45:18,278

Speaker 2: And

:

00:45:18,278 --> 00:45:21,823

Aycee: that's why your story, and

that's why you have to tell the truth.

:

00:45:21,823 --> 00:45:21,843

Tell the

:

00:45:22,148 --> 00:45:22,358

Speaker 2: truth.

:

00:45:22,418 --> 00:45:25,838

Aycee: Even if you're not telling

everything, you are telling a

:

00:45:25,838 --> 00:45:27,778

portion of it that is very close.

:

00:45:27,778 --> 00:45:27,838

You

:

00:45:27,838 --> 00:45:28,348

Speaker 2: have to tell

:

00:45:28,348 --> 00:45:29,998

Aycee: the truth to what your story is.

:

00:45:30,058 --> 00:45:33,118

Speaker 2: I learned that my dad

taught me that a good attorney is

:

00:45:33,868 --> 00:45:34,478

tell the truth, gonna ask the truth.

:

00:45:34,528 --> 00:45:36,628

You better tell him the absolute truth.

:

00:45:37,258 --> 00:45:40,978

And a good attorney will, they'll, you'll

never, it will never be brought up again.

:

00:45:41,428 --> 00:45:44,248

Aycee: Yeah, because the

secrets and things, I know.

:

00:45:44,253 --> 00:45:44,263

That's

:

00:45:44,263 --> 00:45:44,913

Speaker 2: what I'm saying.

:

00:45:46,233 --> 00:45:48,363

That's why I know the

girls ain't really doing pr

:

00:45:48,693 --> 00:45:49,383

Aycee: them girls.

:

00:45:49,433 --> 00:45:52,458

Speaker 2: They're not really

doing pr You not really doing pr.

:

00:45:53,058 --> 00:45:55,008

Aycee: No, you're not, because you're

:

00:45:55,008 --> 00:45:56,538

Speaker 2: not, you're

not really doing it.

:

00:45:57,843 --> 00:45:59,673

Aycee: It's about storytelling and

:

00:45:59,678 --> 00:46:00,593

Speaker 2: people like you.

:

00:46:00,593 --> 00:46:00,603

Yes.

:

00:46:00,603 --> 00:46:01,403

Listen, you're not doing crisis.

:

00:46:01,403 --> 00:46:02,093

That's why I was good.

:

00:46:02,093 --> 00:46:03,953

These people need crisis managers.

:

00:46:03,953 --> 00:46:04,943

They need a lot.

:

00:46:05,303 --> 00:46:06,743

Y'all are not doing y'all jobs.

:

00:46:06,773 --> 00:46:11,813

Aycee: People are saying it like,

usher, like, where's your PR person?

:

00:46:11,813 --> 00:46:12,503

Because I know.

:

00:46:12,683 --> 00:46:14,183

Don't just give that interview,

:

00:46:15,023 --> 00:46:15,173

Speaker 2: Phil.

:

00:46:15,173 --> 00:46:15,623

What you

:

00:46:15,623 --> 00:46:16,133

Aycee: said

:

00:46:17,008 --> 00:46:19,433

Speaker 2: Philly about to

get the whole tour, canceled.

:

00:46:19,823 --> 00:46:21,173

Aycee: The whole tour.

:

00:46:21,173 --> 00:46:21,413

And

:

00:46:21,418 --> 00:46:22,548

Speaker 2: I'm like, that's

supposed to be a wrap.

:

00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:25,913

Aycee: I'm like, do you not

see the environment that

:

00:46:25,913 --> 00:46:26,813

we're, do you, are you not

:

00:46:26,813 --> 00:46:27,203

reading

:

00:46:27,203 --> 00:46:27,623

Aycee: the room,

:

00:46:28,793 --> 00:46:29,303

Speaker 2: sir?

:

00:46:29,523 --> 00:46:31,203

You And he has media training.

:

00:46:31,203 --> 00:46:34,113

You have you getting too

comfortable with these new, this new

:

00:46:34,118 --> 00:46:36,093

technology, these new day and age.

:

00:46:36,753 --> 00:46:38,698

You gotta still pretend it's:

:

00:46:39,858 --> 00:46:40,608

Aycee: I hear people,

:

00:46:40,608 --> 00:46:41,633

Speaker 2: people saying,

never came outta your mouth.

:

00:46:41,633 --> 00:46:41,953

Your mouth.

:

00:46:42,053 --> 00:46:43,338

Aycee: I'm like, did you just say that?

:

00:46:44,028 --> 00:46:45,588

Speaker 2: That shit didn't

never came outta your

:

00:46:45,588 --> 00:46:45,708

Aycee: mouth.

:

00:46:45,708 --> 00:46:48,588

My first question is

where is your PR person?

:

00:46:48,618 --> 00:46:53,018

Speaker 2: I say that all the time

when I see these iPhone PR press

:

00:46:53,018 --> 00:46:54,548

releases that they screenshot.

:

00:46:54,548 --> 00:46:55,743

I'm like, who wrote this?

:

00:46:56,618 --> 00:46:58,388

Who let you post this

:

00:46:59,888 --> 00:47:00,128

Aycee: dude?

:

00:47:00,368 --> 00:47:03,223

And I was like, are they not

training PR people like they did?

:

00:47:03,403 --> 00:47:03,623

Speaker 2: No.

:

00:47:03,763 --> 00:47:08,308

'Cause PR person now is doing

PR and marketing and branding.

:

00:47:08,728 --> 00:47:09,268

Branding.

:

00:47:09,298 --> 00:47:10,198

That's what they're doing.

:

00:47:10,528 --> 00:47:12,563

They're all doing re all jobs.

:

00:47:12,563 --> 00:47:13,713

They're all different jobs.

:

00:47:13,923 --> 00:47:14,253

Aycee: Yes.

:

00:47:14,258 --> 00:47:17,458

And so I just be like, okay,

somebody need to teach the girlies.

:

00:47:17,458 --> 00:47:18,208

This is not it.

:

00:47:19,228 --> 00:47:20,638

This is not sustainable.

:

00:47:20,638 --> 00:47:21,903

Can teach.

:

00:47:21,908 --> 00:47:23,788

This is not, I can teach them.

:

00:47:24,218 --> 00:47:26,228

That is part of my manifesting generator.

:

00:47:26,228 --> 00:47:27,338

I think to educate.

:

00:47:28,148 --> 00:47:29,288

Speaker 2: You can teach them

:

00:47:29,598 --> 00:47:32,208

Aycee: You talk about our

stories deserve validation.

:

00:47:32,298 --> 00:47:37,128

And yet for so many black women, the

idea that our stories not just our pain.

:

00:47:37,518 --> 00:47:41,688

And I think that's one of the reasons

why I talk about romance novels

:

00:47:41,688 --> 00:47:46,158

because the focus isn't trauma porn.

:

00:47:46,173 --> 00:47:51,603

The focus is black women who

are the idea that, it's about

:

00:47:51,603 --> 00:47:53,038

our full stories, our joy.

:

00:47:53,038 --> 00:47:53,278

Mm-hmm.

:

00:47:53,363 --> 00:47:55,563

Our desires, our softness.

:

00:47:55,893 --> 00:47:57,963

They deserve to be seen and validated.

:

00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:01,233

'cause it's still a radical concept.

:

00:48:01,293 --> 00:48:01,383

Mm-hmm.

:

00:48:01,623 --> 00:48:04,683

And I think that's part of the

problem, like a lot of the vitriol

:

00:48:04,683 --> 00:48:09,723

around Duchess Meghan because they

are not used to seeing a black woman.

:

00:48:09,723 --> 00:48:09,813

My

:

00:48:09,813 --> 00:48:11,973

Speaker 2: grandmother was doing

everything she did on that damn show.

:

00:48:11,973 --> 00:48:12,543

Everything she's

:

00:48:12,543 --> 00:48:12,843

Aycee: doing

:

00:48:12,843 --> 00:48:13,743

grow, growing up,

:

00:48:13,748 --> 00:48:13,978

everything.

:

00:48:15,288 --> 00:48:18,918

Absolutely making little packages

for people, wrapping ups.

:

00:48:19,548 --> 00:48:20,208

I was like, what?

:

00:48:20,213 --> 00:48:20,473

What?

:

00:48:20,538 --> 00:48:22,848

Because I was like what this, before

I watched this said, what's going on?

:

00:48:23,088 --> 00:48:24,288

Why are they so mad at her?

:

00:48:24,498 --> 00:48:28,068

And then I watched this show, I said I

was doing that, so I sew really well, but

:

00:48:28,068 --> 00:48:29,748

that was my grandmother owned a daycare.

:

00:48:30,048 --> 00:48:33,258

She would get a pack of sheets, cut

it up, and we would make aprons out

:

00:48:33,378 --> 00:48:37,758

them without a, so I'm not, whatcha

talking about whatcha y'all mad about?

:

00:48:37,878 --> 00:48:38,718

This is regular.

:

00:48:38,718 --> 00:48:40,273

Octavia Marie: And so many of

the things that she's doing,

:

00:48:40,303 --> 00:48:42,583

I'm not even that domestic.

:

00:48:42,613 --> 00:48:44,563

I'm not domestic, but I like to do crafty.

:

00:48:44,563 --> 00:48:49,213

I make my own like body

butters and my own candles and

:

00:48:49,213 --> 00:48:50,443

special on that show.

:

00:48:50,563 --> 00:48:54,253

I was like, there is nothing she's

doing that plenty of black women

:

00:48:54,253 --> 00:48:57,623

are doing, but they're used to

seeing us doing them for them.

:

00:48:58,043 --> 00:49:00,533

Or they're seeing the

professional or whatever.

:

00:49:00,533 --> 00:49:05,063

They don't see the, that kind

of like whimsical softness of oh

:

00:49:05,063 --> 00:49:06,593

yeah, let's make some sun tea.

:

00:49:06,893 --> 00:49:09,473

Let's put some herbs in a

jar and make some body oil.

:

00:49:09,523 --> 00:49:10,078

This is normal.

:

00:49:12,433 --> 00:49:12,783

Still

:

00:49:12,783 --> 00:49:13,023

grandmother.

:

00:49:13,168 --> 00:49:13,618

Yeah.

:

00:49:13,618 --> 00:49:16,903

A lot of what I do, I saw

my grandmother doing right.

:

00:49:18,338 --> 00:49:21,038

Absolutely can't do it

as a wealthy black woman

:

00:49:21,228 --> 00:49:21,558

no,

:

00:49:22,908 --> 00:49:24,468

Octavia Marie: that's

what they really mad about

:

00:49:24,518 --> 00:49:24,938

Aycee: mm-hmm.

:

00:49:25,128 --> 00:49:25,808

Octavia Marie: Aycee.

:

00:49:25,948 --> 00:49:31,528

This conversation has been everything

I hoped and then some thank you for

:

00:49:31,528 --> 00:49:36,718

your truth, your wisdom, and for

showing up so fully for us today.

:

00:49:37,678 --> 00:49:43,198

If this episode stirred something in

you, please go get Embody Your Magic.

:

00:49:43,558 --> 00:49:47,908

You'll find the link in the show notes

along with everything AC mentioned today.

:

00:49:48,778 --> 00:49:54,328

And if you love today's episode, do

me a favor, share it with a sister,

:

00:49:54,538 --> 00:49:59,008

a friend, a woman in your life who

is in the middle of her becoming.

:

00:49:59,638 --> 00:50:03,179

This is the kind of conversation

that needs to travel.

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Culture Lit
A Black Romance Books Podcast

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Octavia Dosier